Friday, November 30, 2012

December!

Holy Macaroni! Can you believe TOMORROW is December 1st?
I know you're all excited for this month because of the MAJOR holiday coming up...MY BIRTHDAY! duh!

December always proves to be an incredibly busy month! And seeing as I have been a wee bit distracted with a certain little someone, I have a lot to get done this month! 

By now you all know I accomplished my November goal of having a baby, but now it's time to get serious and actually get some shit done!

Here's what I need and would like to get accomplished during December: 

*Send out Christmas Cards!
I need to get these suckers designed and sent ASAP!

*Get a haircut.
Seems so silly but it's been an embarrassingly long time since I've cleaned up these split ends.

*Make gallery wall over fireplace.
We have a big space over our fireplace that currently has a painting that I want in our bedroom hanging on it, SO I want to move the painting and make a mini gallery wall. 

*Celebrate my birthday! 

*Wrap Christmas gifts. 
I actually have most of my shopping done! Now I need to get to wrapping. 

*Go to yoga. 
It's time to get this body back in shape. I know I'm  going to have to ease into it, so I'm starting with the small goal of getting to at least one class this month.

*Finish the master bedroom. 
I started to redo our bedroom and got a little sidetracked planning for baby. I'd like to make the final finishing touches this month and finally be done with it. 

*Have 2nd Annual Christmas dessert making party with my Beeb
We had so much fun making tons of desserts last year that we decided to make it a yearly tradition! 

*Start thinking of some New Years resolutions!
2013 is right around the corner and I need to think of what I want to accomplish next year. 

What are you hoping to accomplish before this year is done?

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Kenley's Birth Story.

My favorite pregnancy past time was reading other bloggers’ birth stories. It fascinated me how different everyone’s experience was and it helped me to wrap my head around the fact that this was something I couldn’t plan, it was going to happen how it was going to happen and I had to just go with it. It is so surreal to me that I am now sitting down to write Kenley’s birth story and recap the days that have forever changed my life.

By now you all know that I am not modest, I have no problem sharing anything and everything and when I was pregnant I really appreciated the stories that went into great detail. Plus, I’ve promised my girlfriends I wouldn’t hold back. SO, if you’d prefer not to read about gross but totally natural things, I won’t judge you for scrolling to the bottom where the pictures of the cute baby live. 

With all that out of the way...here's the story of how my daughter was born.

As you all know my due date was Thursday, November 8th and after my due date and 3 more days had passed without a single sign of labor I decided to have my membranes stripped. I went in to see my doctor on Monday, November 12th and was 3 centimeters dilated, 75% effaced and had my membranes stripped. In case things didn't get going, I scheduled an induction for that Thursday, November 15th. My doctor (who you all know I love) was going to be on call Thursday morning but had a feeling I wouldn't make it that long. So she gave me a good luck hug at the office.
I sort of expected things to get going the minute the membranes were stripped, but no such luck.
The next day, however, things finally got moving.

On Tuesday, November 13th at around 1:00pm I was at work and all of a sudden got a bad cramp and got really sweaty. It lasted about 30 seconds and then completely went away....I had my first contraction and completely freaked out! I packed up all my stuff and ran out of work. I was fully aware that I may not have another contraction for days, but the one was all I needed to completely and totally check out of work...I ran out of there so fast I left my lunch in the microwave. About 3 hours later, around 4:00pm, I got to enjoy what was most certainly some sort of bloody show/mucus plug action. For the rest of the afternoon and throughout the night I had some light cramping, but nothing that could be timed or really felt like the real thing.

I woke up on Wednesday, November 14th at 7:30am with a more defined contraction. It felt stronger and had a more definite start and stop. And then they continued....they weren't painful and were coming about every 10-15 minutes. I still didn't want to get too excited, so I told Jason to go to work and I laid in bed and watched Mean Girls. By about 9:00am the contractions were getting more painful. They were still about 10 minutes apart, but I could tell this was finally the real deal. I sent Jason a text letting him know they were more frequent and more painful and he immediately came home.

I had been sending my mom text messages all morning with all the details and could tell that she was getting anxious, so I asked her to come over and keep us company and bring us lunch! :) She got to our house around 12:00pm and at that point the contractions were coming 7-9 minutes apart and were more painful, especially in my lower back. My doctor told us to call when the contractions were one minute long, every five minutes for a full hour. I still had some time, so, we watched Clueless and then Sleepless in Seattle.

It was right around 4:00pm and things were starting to get more intense. I was handling the contractions well with some weird sounds and chanting "owwwwie, owwwie, owwwwwwie". At this point I decided I needed to get in the shower, which felt AMAZING! Jason sat outside the door and I would tell him when the contractions would start and stop so that he could continue to time them. Twenty minutes into my shower and Jason yelled that I should get out...my contractions were now 3-4 minutes apart and had been for over an hour.

At 4:21pm Jason called the doctor and she suggested we head to the hospital.

Of course, we took off for the hospital right during rush hour. The car ride was AWFUL. I was in the back seat on my hands and knees trying to get through the contractions that were getting stronger and stronger and the darn car wasn't moving.
Here I am in between contractions...in the car....cute, huh?

We finally made it to the hospital at 5:12pm and were checked in to Triage. There, we had the most amazing nurse, Christine, who checked me out. She thought that based on the amount of pain I was in, I had to be pretty far along. Unfortunately, I was still only 3 centimeters but completely effaced. The pain at this point was almost entirely in my back. After about an hour of contractions in Triage, we were admitted to our Labor and Delivery room at 6:10pm (Jason took great notes, which is how I know exactly what time everything took place).

At 6:42pm my doctor came in to break my water to get things moving....as soon as my water broke, everything changed. I felt the baby drop lower and that caused the back labor to be unbearable. It was a pain unlike anything I'd ever felt, it literally felt like I was being stabbed in the tailbone. No positions, no breathing, no weird noises were helping the pain. At this point I was only 4-5 centimeters dilated and I knew that there was no way I could go 5 more centimeters with this pain, so I asked for an epidural.

Jason knew how very badly I wanted to give birth naturally. So he did exactly what I told him to do if I asked for medication....he told me I could do it. He told me I was strong. He told me that if I got the epidural there was a good chance I would have a C-section, my ultimate fear (I am TERRIFIED of surgery). But his words meant nothing to me...this was the one time I screamed at Jason. I remember feeling the fear of God within me and I looked at Jason and screamed "I don't care. I cannot do this. I need the f-ing epidural." And so....the nurse got me hooked up to an IV.

At 8:10pm the anesthesiologist came in. He was all business, and frankly a little scary. But, I found comfort in the fact that the man who was inserting a needle into my spine was focused and wasn't interested in small talk. In order to successfully insert the epidural he needed me to sit completely still which was IMPOSSIBLE with excruciating contractions coming every couple of minutes. The first (yes, the first) epidural didn't go so well. First he gave me the local anesthetic and then attempted the epidural. I felt a super intense shooting pain in the left side of my back, which caused me to panic. He then gave me another shot of the local anesthetic and tried the epidural....which didn't work. SO, he switched spots. I got one more local anesthetic and then a successful epidural. I felt relief almost immediately and was so grateful. I began to shake and couldn't stop, so the nurse covered me up with warm blankets, we put on FRIENDS and I was able to relax.
After the epidural, the nurse checked me and I was 6 cm dilated. Because I wasn't progressing they started me on a small drip of Pitocin. So basically, everything I was trying to avoid was happening. I just tried to relax and prayed that everything would go well and that I wouldn't find myself on the operating table.

At 11:12pm the nurse checked me again and said "Alright, you're done." Both Jason and I were confused as to what exactly that meant so Jason asked, "So, a couple more hours then?" and the nurse replied, "No, I'm going to get ready, it's time to push." It was so surreal. We were just hanging out, watching FRIENDS, I couldn't feel a thing and all of a sudden the nurse nonchalantly tells me it's time to have my baby.

I started to push shortly after which was very strange. For some reason the monitors weren't able to read my contractions, so the nurse literally had to sit there with her fingers inside of me to tell me when I was having a contraction. She would say "OK" and then her and Jason would each grab a leg, I would bear down and then push to the count of 10, take a deep breath, push to the count of 10 and then take one more breath and push to 10 for a third time....then rest until the next contraction. Once the baby had made her way down a bit I was able to feel pressure when I was having a contraction, which I liked way more because I felt like I was actually involved in the process. SO, I would alert the team when I was feeling one and again I'd push.

About an hour into pushing the nurse called in my doctor. They needed to increase the Pitocin to keep my contractions coming but the increase in Pitocin was causing the baby's heart rate to drop. I looked over at Jason who was sitting on my left and was looking at the heart rate monitor. Baby girl's heart rate had dropped to 80. He gave me a look, a look that said "you need to push this baby out and soon" and that's all I needed. The next contraction I pushed with everything that I had in me, to which my nurse exclaimed it was my best push yet. While I was making progress pushing, the baby's heart rate was still low so the doctor pulled out the vacuum in order to get her out quickly. Once again...something I definitely didn't want, but at this point I couldn't argue. I was willing to do anything to get my baby out quickly and safely without surgery.  Literally the second my doctor put the vacuum in me the baby's heart rate jumped back up to 130. My little drama queen didn't want the vacuum anymore than I did and decided at the very last second to behave herself.

I felt pressure and once again put every fiber of my soul in to pushing out my baby and sure enough, out came her head. I took a deep breath to push out her shoulders but before I could push I felt her slide out. She was so long and skinny she came out with one GIANT push. It's a feeling I can't describe.

On Thursday, November 15th at 1:07am my baby girl was born. I will never forget the moment I saw her and yet I have absolutely no way to put those few seconds into words. I remember saying, "oh my God, oh my God" over and over and being so overwhelmed with pride and relief and shock that I couldn't even muster tears. The nurse took Kenley's stats and made sure her heart rate was OK and then I was finally able to hold my angel for the first time...and that is when the tears started.
It was without a doubt the most incredible moment of my life.
I always said I would go into labor with an open mind and do what I needed to do and what I felt was best for me and my baby. I was so worried that if I wasn't able to go natural that I would be disappointed or feel like I failed, but I don't feel even an ounce of that. I was so miserable and in so much pain,  ultimately I am really happy that I decided to ask for help. And, despite a little bump in the road, my baby was born safely and that's all that matters in the world.

Kenley's Birth Story.

My favorite pregnancy past time was reading other bloggers’ birth stories. It fascinated me how different everyone’s experience was and it helped me to wrap my head around the fact that this was something I couldn’t plan, it was going to happen how it was going to happen and I had to just go with it. It is so surreal to me that I am now sitting down to write Kenley’s birth story and recap the days that have forever changed my life.

By now you all know that I am not modest, I have no problem sharing anything and everything and when I was pregnant I really appreciated the stories that went into great detail. Plus, I’ve promised my girlfriends I wouldn’t hold back. SO, if you’d prefer not to read about gross but totally natural things, I won’t judge you for scrolling to the bottom where the pictures of the cute baby live. 

With all that out of the way...here's the story of how my daughter was born.

As you all know my due date was Thursday, November 8th and after my due date and 3 more days had passed without a single sign of labor I decided to have my membranes stripped. I went in to see my doctor on Monday, November 12th and was 3 centimeters dilated, 75% effaced and had my membranes stripped. In case things didn't get going, I scheduled an induction for that Thursday, November 15th. My doctor (who you all know I love) was going to be on call Thursday morning but had a feeling I wouldn't make it that long. So she gave me a good luck hug at the office.
I sort of expected things to get going the minute the membranes were stripped, but no such luck.
The next day, however, things finally got moving.

On Tuesday, November 13th at around 1:00pm I was at work and all of a sudden got a bad cramp and got really sweaty. It lasted about 30 seconds and then completely went away....I had my first contraction and completely freaked out! I packed up all my stuff and ran out of work. I was fully aware that I may not have another contraction for days, but the one was all I needed to completely and totally check out of work...I ran out of there so fast I left my lunch in the microwave. About 3 hours later, around 4:00pm, I got to enjoy what was most certainly some sort of bloody show/mucus plug action. For the rest of the afternoon and throughout the night I had some light cramping, but nothing that could be timed or really felt like the real thing.

I woke up on Wednesday, November 14th at 7:30am with a more defined contraction. It felt stronger and had a more definite start and stop. And then they continued....they weren't painful and were coming about every 10-15 minutes. I still didn't want to get too excited, so I told Jason to go to work and I laid in bed and watched Mean Girls. By about 9:00am the contractions were getting more painful. They were still about 10 minutes apart, but I could tell this was finally the real deal. I sent Jason a text letting him know they were more frequent and more painful and he immediately came home.

I had been sending my mom text messages all morning with all the details and could tell that she was getting anxious, so I asked her to come over and keep us company and bring us lunch! :) She got to our house around 12:00pm and at that point the contractions were coming 7-9 minutes apart and were more painful, especially in my lower back. My doctor told us to call when the contractions were one minute long, every five minutes for a full hour. I still had some time, so, we watched Clueless and then Sleepless in Seattle.

It was right around 4:00pm and things were starting to get more intense. I was handling the contractions well with some weird sounds and chanting "owwwwie, owwwie, owwwwwwie". At this point I decided I needed to get in the shower, which felt AMAZING! Jason sat outside the door and I would tell him when the contractions would start and stop so that he could continue to time them. Twenty minutes into my shower and Jason yelled that I should get out...my contractions were now 3-4 minutes apart and had been for over an hour.

At 4:21pm Jason called the doctor and she suggested we head to the hospital.

Of course, we took off for the hospital right during rush hour. The car ride was AWFUL. I was in the back seat on my hands and knees trying to get through the contractions that were getting stronger and stronger and the darn car wasn't moving.
Here I am in between contractions...in the car....cute, huh?

We finally made it to the hospital at 5:12pm and were checked in to Triage. There, we had the most amazing nurse, Christine, who checked me out. She thought that based on the amount of pain I was in, I had to be pretty far along. Unfortunately, I was still only 3 centimeters but completely effaced. The pain at this point was almost entirely in my back. After about an hour of contractions in Triage, we were admitted to our Labor and Delivery room at 6:10pm (Jason took great notes, which is how I know exactly what time everything took place).

At 6:42pm my doctor came in to break my water to get things moving....as soon as my water broke, everything changed. I felt the baby drop lower and that caused the back labor to be unbearable. It was a pain unlike anything I'd ever felt, it literally felt like I was being stabbed in the tailbone. No positions, no breathing, no weird noises were helping the pain. At this point I was only 4-5 centimeters dilated and I knew that there was no way I could go 5 more centimeters with this pain, so I asked for an epidural.

Jason knew how very badly I wanted to give birth naturally. So he did exactly what I told him to do if I asked for medication....he told me I could do it. He told me I was strong. He told me that if I got the epidural there was a good chance I would have a C-section, my ultimate fear (I am TERRIFIED of surgery). But his words meant nothing to me...this was the one time I screamed at Jason. I remember feeling the fear of God within me and I looked at Jason and screamed "I don't care. I cannot do this. I need the f-ing epidural." And so....the nurse got me hooked up to an IV.

At 8:10pm the anesthesiologist came in. He was all business, and frankly a little scary. But, I found comfort in the fact that the man who was inserting a needle into my spine was focused and wasn't interested in small talk. In order to successfully insert the epidural he needed me to sit completely still which was IMPOSSIBLE with excruciating contractions coming every couple of minutes. The first (yes, the first) epidural didn't go so well. First he gave me the local anesthetic and then attempted the epidural. I felt a super intense shooting pain in the left side of my back, which caused me to panic. He then gave me another shot of the local anesthetic and tried the epidural....which didn't work. SO, he switched spots. I got one more local anesthetic and then a successful epidural. I felt relief almost immediately and was so grateful. I began to shake and couldn't stop, so the nurse covered me up with warm blankets, we put on FRIENDS and I was able to relax.
After the epidural, the nurse checked me and I was 6 cm dilated. Because I wasn't progressing they started me on a small drip of Pitocin. So basically, everything I was trying to avoid was happening. I just tried to relax and prayed that everything would go well and that I wouldn't find myself on the operating table.

At 11:12pm the nurse checked me again and said "Alright, you're done." Both Jason and I were confused as to what exactly that meant so Jason asked, "So, a couple more hours then?" and the nurse replied, "No, I'm going to get ready, it's time to push." It was so surreal. We were just hanging out, watching FRIENDS, I couldn't feel a thing and all of a sudden the nurse nonchalantly tells me it's time to have my baby.

I started to push shortly after which was very strange. For some reason the monitors weren't able to read my contractions, so the nurse literally had to sit there with her fingers inside of me to tell me when I was having a contraction. She would say "OK" and then her and Jason would each grab a leg, I would bear down and then push to the count of 10, take a deep breath, push to the count of 10 and then take one more breath and push to 10 for a third time....then rest until the next contraction. Once the baby had made her way down a bit I was able to feel pressure when I was having a contraction, which I liked way more because I felt like I was actually involved in the process. SO, I would alert the team when I was feeling one and again I'd push.

About an hour into pushing the nurse called in my doctor. They needed to increase the Pitocin to keep my contractions coming but the increase in Pitocin was causing the baby's heart rate to drop. I looked over at Jason who was sitting on my left and was looking at the heart rate monitor. Baby girl's heart rate had dropped to 80. He gave me a look, a look that said "you need to push this baby out and soon" and that's all I needed. The next contraction I pushed with everything that I had in me, to which my nurse exclaimed it was my best push yet. While I was making progress pushing, the baby's heart rate was still low so the doctor pulled out the vacuum in order to get her out quickly. Once again...something I definitely didn't want, but at this point I couldn't argue. I was willing to do anything to get my baby out quickly and safely without surgery.  Literally the second my doctor put the vacuum in me the baby's heart rate jumped back up to 130. My little drama queen didn't want the vacuum anymore than I did and decided at the very last second to behave herself.

I felt pressure and once again put every fiber of my soul in to pushing out my baby and sure enough, out came her head. I took a deep breath to push out her shoulders but before I could push I felt her slide out. She was so long and skinny she came out with one GIANT push. It's a feeling I can't describe.

On Thursday, November 15th at 1:07am my baby girl was born. I will never forget the moment I saw her and yet I have absolutely no way to put those few seconds into words. I remember saying, "oh my God, oh my God" over and over and being so overwhelmed with pride and relief and shock that I couldn't even muster tears. The nurse took Kenley's stats and made sure her heart rate was OK and then I was finally able to hold my angel for the first time...and that is when the tears started.
It was without a doubt the most incredible moment of my life.
I always said I would go into labor with an open mind and do what I needed to do and what I felt was best for me and my baby. I was so worried that if I wasn't able to go natural that I would be disappointed or feel like I failed, but I don't feel even an ounce of that. I was so miserable and in so much pain,  ultimately I am really happy that I decided to ask for help. And, despite a little bump in the road, my baby was born safely and that's all that matters in the world.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Many Thanks

I hope you all had a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving weekend filled with family, friends and food!
Thanksgiving was extra special for us this year because we have SO much to be thankful for right now. Obviously, we couldn't be more thankful for our healthy and beautiful baby girl, but it is our family and friends who have made this time so incredibly special for us. I'm up to my elbows in thank you cards that I need to get out for all the amazing gifts, food and help that we have received this past week but I have to take a moment to give out some specific thank yous that deserve extra attention. 

Thanks to YOU
Thank you, thank you, thank you sweet friends for all of your congratulatory tweets, facebook messages, e-mails, blog comments and texts. I was completely overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and I only wish I would have had time to respond to every single one of you. It didn't go unnoticed and you have NO idea how much it all meant to me and Jason.

Thanks to my MOM.
I DO NOT know what I would do without you.
As my full-time job is now to take care of this nugget, it's comforting to know that I still have my mama to take care of me. Thank you so much for everything you've done these past few days, these past nine months, and truthfully, these past (almost) 28 years. From all the food to the support to the gifts you really deserve some sort of award. I can only hope that 28 years from now Kenley loves me as much as I love you.

Thanks to my in-laws KEVIN, JUDYE & ALLY.
Thank you all so much for taking such good care of Bailey for us. It was such a relief to be able to focus on the baby without having to worry about our first born and I know she loves spending time with all of you. 

Thanks to my BEEB. 
You had a lot to put up with these last couple of weeks but I really can't tell you how much I appreciate you listening to me complain, and then get super excited, and then cry and then complain again. You let me just vent and rant while you simply listened. You have no idea how much that meant to me and how much it really helped me.

 Thanks to my HUSBAND.
I couldn't have done any of this without you...quite literally. But beyond that little detail, you have been incredible. Throughout the entire pregnancy, the whole childbirth experience, and our first week as parents you have been more than I ever could have expected. You know just how to cheer me up, make me laugh and help me when I need it. You have been doting, patient and so very sweet. Even through my crazy hormonal rage, I know that it isn't possible for me to love you any more than I do right now.

Last, but most certainly not least...
Thanks to all who have sent us well wishes, sent us prayers, sent us gifts, brought us food, and have been there for us the last nine months and especially the last 11 days...
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! 


Monday, November 19, 2012

Behind the Name.

A couple of months into my pregnancy I saw a tweet that had the name KENLEY in it. I don't remember who tweeted it, or what the tweet was about but I remember thinking "Ooooh, Kenley." I immediately texted it to Jason and he didn't completely hate it, which meant it was on the list.

I have always liked names that were slightly different. I knew I wanted a name that people could pronounce and people could spell, but I wanted a name that was unique. My early favorites were Avery, Harlow, Harper, Emerson and Kenley. Jason's favorites were Avery and Harper. 

I decided that Avery was getting too popular, a beautiful name, but too popular for me. And Harper, well it just doesn't flow with Fawver. Harper Fawver. It just doesn't sound right, plus, what if our daughter has a hard time saying her "Rs" like so many young kids do? "Hawpew Fawvew" Nope, I couldn't do that to her. 

I was sold on Kenley pretty early on, but Jason wasn't. It took a good 3-4 months before he committed to the name and that was only after I gave him a deadline to bring some new names to the table AND told him he was excused from breastfeeding class. 

I loved that it was uncommon but still easy to pronounce and spell and after looking up the stats on the name, I was even more excited about it. 

Plus, I had only ever heard of two people named Kenley...

Kenley Collins from Project Runway

-and-

Kenley Jansen a pitcher for the Dodgers. 
Our daughter most certainly was NOT named after either of these people (although Kenley Jansen is on Jason's fantasy team....so there's that). 

We just liked the name. 
Not the most heartwarming of tales, but that's how our peanut came to be named. 

Her middle name, Kouris (pronounced core-iss), however does have a lot of meaning. 
It's my mom's maiden name.  
My grandma and grandpa had two daughters, and after they were both married there was no one to carry on the family name. I have always had a special relationship with my Grandpa (my mom's dad) and such a special person deserves to be honored and live on through his future generations, so it was important to me that my baby could do that for him. Thankfully, Jason didn't have a choice agreed and our little angel was named KENLEY KOURIS FAWVER. 

This really had no effect on our decision but an added bonus is that her initials are KK and mine growing up were also KK, it's already become a nickname of hers and I love it! 

So there you have it. 


Thursday, November 15, 2012

She's Here!

Ladies and Gentleman...

I would like to introduce you to our baby girl,
Kenley Kouris Fawver
born November 15 at 1:07am
6 pounds, 13 ounces
21.5 inches

There are no words to describe what these past few days have been like. 
I am so happy, proud, tired and in love. 


I am excited to get back to blogging so that I can fill you all in on all of the excitement! 

Until then,

She's Here!

Ladies and Gentleman...

I would like to introduce you to our baby girl,

There are no words to describe what these past few days have been like. 
I am so happy, proud, tired and in love. 


I am excited to get back to blogging so that I can fill you all in on all of the excitement! 

Until then,

Monday, November 12, 2012

Past Due. Update.

Wow. 
What an emotional roller coaster the past few days have been. As you all know my due date was last Thursday, November 8th. While I've obviously known this entire time that the due date was just a guess, it's still that ONE day you have in your mind for the entire 9 months. And when you watch it come and go...it's hard. 

I really think doctors should give women a due time period with like a two week window, the one date flashing in your mind constantly can really drive a person mad. And it definitely drove me mad. 

Thursday and Friday were really, really hard days for me. I hadn't slept at all because I was so anxious, add the crazy hormones to the exhaustion, sprinkle on some serious discomfort and you've got yourself one hot mess of a person. ME. 

I cried on and off for all of Thursday and all of Friday. I didn’t go into work on Friday because I couldn’t keep myself together long enough to be professional. Not because I was sad the baby hadn't come but because I felt like a failure. I felt like I should be so happy and excited to meet my little girl, but I wasn't. I was anxious, the anticipation was killing me. Sitting and waiting for the worst pain of your life to start is a very strange thing. 

Then came all of the text messages. It was so incredibly heartwarming to get SO many messages from friends and family checking on me and the baby and wishing me a happy due date but it actually made everything worse. I started to feel like a watched pot. There are so many people so excited to meet this little girl and I began to feel like it was my fault that they hadn't. Not to mention I'm pretty amped about meeting her myself. 

Then there’s all the suggestions…Go for a walk. Bounce on a ball. Have sex. Eat spicy food. Eat pineapple. Drink special tea. Like it's just that easy.

I tried it all people…none of it works. 

On top of that, my sister-in-law, Nicole (Jason’s sister) flew in from Florida. She knew when she booked the ticket that there was a chance the baby could come late, but we all figured she wouldn’t be this late (Nicole left today). I started putting all this pressure on myself to get her here while Nicole was in town. I felt AWFUL that Nicole took time off of work and spent money on a plane ticket and may not be here to meet her Goddaughter. 

I was trying so hard to fix my mood, to be happy and excited, to not worry, to be thankful that I had a healthy full term baby growing inside of me. But for whatever reason, I just needed to be scared, sad and cry. And let me tell all you girls out there...that's OK

I spent an entire day alone (well, of course the puggle was there), in my bed sleeping and crying. I got it all out of my system and then stopped beating myself up. It was exactly what I needed and I found a new attitude. I woke up on Saturday feeling great. Jason and I had a wonderful weekend and while I was still impatient and still feeling anxious, I was able to go more than 10 minutes without crying.

I had a doctor’s appointment scheduled for this coming Wednesday, but after the weekend I knew I couldn’t wait that long to go in. Luckily, my doctor was able to get me in this morning…and here is where we stand:

I am currently 3 centimeters dilated and 75% effaced!
Major excitement after being just 1 cm and 60% for the past three weeks.

My doctor doesn’t let patients go past 41 weeks because of the possible health risks to mom and baby. Because I am just days away from being 41 weeks, she wanted me to get a biophysical ultrasound to check the status of the baby. Basically they check a bunch of different things (heart rate, breathing, movement, amniotic fluid, placenta, etc), there is an 8 point scale and the baby has 30 minutes to complete all the things they’re checking for. If there are any concerns or the baby is in distress, induction or C-section happens right away.

Thankfully my little Nugget scored a perfect 8/8. She is doing great in there, which is probably why she hasn’t wanted to come out. So there are no concerns in terms of her staying put for a few more days. BUT because I am 41 weeks on Thursday I had to schedule an induction…something I’ve desperately wanted to avoid.

I decided to let my doctor strip my membranes to try and get labor going more naturally. If that doesn’t work I will go in sometime on Thursday to be induced. The one great thing about having to be induced is that my doctor is the doctor on staff at the hospital on Thursday. SO, at least I would have her there with me.

Giving birth naturally is really important to me and while there is nothing natural about Pitocin, I have to trust my doctor and do everything I can to get through a Pitocin-induced birth without pain medication. That is, if she doesn’t come on her own in the next two days….which PLEASE pray that she does!

Overall, I feel relieved. So very relieved. Being induced is not ideal but there is an end in sight. No matter what, my baby will be here by the end of the week.

Thank you all so much for checking in on me and for all your sweet words.
I’m sorry if I was crabby with any of you last week. J

XO,