The First Few Weeks :: Mama Edition

Hi friends.
I want to apologize for being the world's worst blogger these past few weeks. Turns out having a baby eats up way more time than I had ever anticipated, having a baby is also way more difficult than I imagined.

I've got to be honest, these first few weeks have been really hard. Kenley is perfect. She is healthy, happy and a GREAT baby. Taking care of her has been great and I love her with my whole heart, BUT the recovery period and the transition has turned me in to quite the hot mess.

There's this little thing called "The Baby Blues" which is the super cute name someone gave the insane hormonal crash women go through after giving birth. I think a more appropriate name would be "Mama Got Hit By a Train." I know everyone's experience is so different, and I want to truthfully share mine so that you ladies who aren't super moms right out the gate don't beat yourself up like I have been.

Here's the key points...

*A slightly inverted uterus will result in your OB's hands up your hoo-ha for an hour trying to deliver the placenta. And as your epidural wears off...it doesn't feel the best.

*Having an episiotomy and tearing (also known as stitches in three different places) makes using the restroom and sitting really, really not fun. NOTE: Tucks Medicated Pads are THEE best invention since electricity.

*If you are a huge wimp like I am, there is a chance you will pass out on the toilet the first time you have to pee. YUP. Woke up...on the toilet...with a cold washcloth on my head...with the nurse saying "can you hear me?" Straight up blacked out on the John.

*If your baby is part piranha (like mine is) your nipples will crack and bleed causing you to cry every time it's time to feed your baby.

*The cracking and bleeding will then lead to neuritis of the nipples, which essentially means breastfeeding will continue to hurt for weeks or possibly months until it heals itself. Sweet.

*Giving birth makes every muscle in your body sore.

*When your anesthesiologist has to give you three different local anesthetics and TWO (yes two...the first one didn't go in right) epidurals your back will get insanely bruised and feel like you'd been beaten by a baseball bat.

*Hormones make you cry....a lot.

*A not-so-common side effect from childbirth, that I have been so lucky to experience, is Bells Palsy. So, hooray, for the past three weeks I haven't been able to use the right side of my face. Which, to me, has been devastating.

*When you have Bells Palsy, you have to get an MRI with a contrast dye. When you are scared of anything medical...this news is terrifying. This news becomes heartbreaking when you find out you can't breastfeed for 24 hours and have to supplement formula and pump and dump for a full day possibly ruining everything you've worked so hard to accomplish with breastfeeding.

*The post-preggo belly, while much smaller, is very strange. It's a whole different beast than the I-shouldn't-have-eaten-that-entire-pizza belly. No, it's more of a loose, saggy, play-dough belly.

*Lochia, also known as the world's longest period, is a real joy. You start out wearing giant hospital diapers and then graduate to pads which you get to wear for WEEKS...yes, weeks. Not cool.

*Taking a newborn anywhere is the world's biggest production, so it becomes much easier to just NEVER-LEAVE-THE-HOUSE making you feel like a shut-in and go completely stir crazy.


As things gets better all the not-so-fun and disgusting things you go through become more and more funny and less and less devastating. But in all seriousness, I wish women would talk about the post-childbirth experience more. Everyone wants to know about the baby and all new moms want to talk about is their baby, but I think it's important that ladies know how hard it is in the beginning. It's been almost a month since my angel was born and I am JUST NOW starting to feel like myself, granted I had some extra, irregular set backs but it's really hard feeling like an alien in your own body while taking care of this new little alien now living in your house.