The Time I Had Coffee with an FBI Agent

So yesterday, I had coffee with an FBI Agent. 

Legit. 

I'm not really sure what I'm allowed to share about this and what I'm not and after yesterday I am pretty terrified of the FBI...but the general back story is that I was called by an FBI Agent and asked to do an in person interview regarding an old friend who is undergoing a background check to get clearance for something that is clearly very important. I adore this individual and was frankly super curious, so I obliged. 

So yesterday, I drove to the Starbucks by my work to meet with Agent X, which is what I'll be calling him because I am certainly not going to share his name! Although, the name he gave me was probably not even his real name....or it was and I am making a way bigger deal out of this than necessary. Anyways, I was so curious and kind of excited, until I parked, then I got a little freaked out. What if this was all an elaborate plan to bust me and take me in for something I didn't actually do and will now have to somehow prove? But more realistically, how was I to know which guy was Agent X? I was really hoping he'd be in a black suit and sunglasses but highly doubted it. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to walk from table to table asking for Agent X and then I realized, DUH!, this guy probably has my photo and whole life story pulled up on his secret agent laptop and will definitely notice me.....which he did. Sneaky bastard. And, he was in fact wearing a black suit. No sunglasses though, which was a bummer. 

We take a seat at one of the tables and he flashes me his badge. His FRICKIN F-B-I BADGE! Then introduces himself as Agent X, describes his job, what he is doing, and then proceeds to recite some privacy act mumbo jumbo that went in one year and right out the other because I blacked out momentarily from disbelief of the situation. 

Then the interview started. Agent X very matter-a-factly asked me about my relationship with my friend, my friend's history, family, character, habits, hobbies, involvement with foreign countries, love for America etc. etc. etc. (that's not a joke.) Agent X literally rattled off each question one right after the other in such a serious matter that I was sure if I got tripped up I would be carried off to a padded room and be tortured until I answered the questions correctly. 

15 minutes of rapid fire questioning and I was done. Just another day in the life I suppose. Pretty uneventful but at least now I can say I've had coffee with an FBI Agent. 

I also have this strange feeling I'm being watched. 

Just Kidding. 

Kind of.