Let Go of Something

Honesty time. The week before Christmas I had a breakdown, it was a 20 minute ugly cry breakdown. I was feeling very overwhelmed by making the holidays perfect for my family. I was anxious to get all my gifts purchased and wrapped. I was stressed at work by a potentially huge life-changing client I was on the verge of landing. My house was a pig sty - there were toys EVERYWHERE, laundry EVERYWHERE, and I hadn't dusted in probably three weeks. A little comment made by my husband set me off. It was something so small and so minor, something that shouldn't have bothered me, but at that particular second it was the breaking point.

I took a moment, alone, cried my ugly pity tears and then remembered a post one of my favorite mama bloggers, Erin, from Blue-Eyed Bride recently wrote about accepting the fact that all your ducks may not be in a row all the time and to focus on the blessings you have been given. In the post she said,

"Every day I make the decision to let go of something"

and that really resonated with me. It's a rare occasion that all the laundry is done and folded and properly put away, the dishes are all clean, all the toys have made their way back to their proper place, my hair is done, the fridge is stocked, everyone has eaten a homecooked well balanced meal, etc. etc. etc. The list could go on and on. 

Whether you are a working mom or you stay at home with your little one you have a to-do list a mile long. There is always something I could be cleaning or organizing or throwing out. I probably should be using all my spare time to work out or get my hair cut or eyebrows waxed. I would love to have a delicious completely organic homemade dinner on the stove every night - but you know what?

It's impossible.

I don't care what you say or who you are it is absolutely impossible. It is impossible to have every single duck in a row and still be able to spend the precious moments that go by so fast with your family. Having a spotless house or six pack abs is not what is important in life. What is important is leaving the toys all over the floor and instead snuggling up to my husband and watching a basketball game. What's important is leaving the clean clothes in the hamper for one more day so I can chase my baby girl around the table and hear her scream with delight. What's important is throwing my dirty hair into a messy bun to go somewhere fun and make lifelong memories with my little family.

Of course, this is easier said than done. I can't promise that I will never have another breakdown or that I won't get stressed by the length of my to due list. I'd love to promise that my husband watching football instead of cleaning won't irritate the crap out of me BUT this year, 2014, I am going to really make a conscious effort to "make the decision to let go of something" every day.