Nolan's Birth Story {part one}

I've been dragging my feet writing Nolan's birth story because I just didn't know where to start or how to put that day into words. As I finally sit here sipping my Iced Chai with my little guy asleep right next to me, I am feeling kind of blue that it is all over. When you are pregnant all you want is for that baby to get here and now that he is here I feel as though it all went too fast. Knowing this is my last baby has definitely heightened my sensitivity to everything and I'm sad about how quickly time is passing by. But nonetheless, grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine {or both!} and get ready for one heck of a post. I don't want to forget a single detail about the day my son was born, so this is going to be lengthy.

..................................

The weeks leading up to Nolan's birth day were unlike anything I could have anticipated. As I'm sure most women who are 37+ weeks pregnant, I was feeling tired, achy, huge, uncomfortable, anxious but also excited and so ready to meet my baby. We had our hospital bags packed, the nursery was finished and all that was left to do was wonder when our little guy would decide to show up.

When my grandma unexpectedly passed away on April 12th {I was 37w4d}, I fell apart. I couldn't believe the timing of it all. I bounced between every emotion you could think of but more than anything was devastated beyond belief that I wasn't able to fly to Colorado to mourn with my family and be at my grandmother's funeral. Of course, the health of my baby was priority number one but it was hard. Really hard. It was also hard to be filled with so much sadness and grief during a time that was supposed to be filled with an excited anticipation. Needless to say, it was a very hazy week.

At my 38 week appointment on April 15th {the day before my grandma's funeral} my doctor suggested inducing me at 39 weeks because of Ziggy's potential size. He had been consistently measuring big in all of the ultrasounds from 12 weeks on and knowing my super strong desire to avoid a c-section my doctor thought this was the best option.  Being induced early went against all of my Birth Hopes and everything I wanted for the birth of my son but after having a really good in depth and honest conversation with my doctor who I love and trust so much I decided we would go ahead with the induction. I should also note that in the entire 38 weeks of my pregnancy that was the first appointment I went to alone {by choice} and I sobbed uncontrollably when my doctor walked in the room and said "How are you doing?" Again, I adore my doctor and that appointment ended up being more like a mini therapy session.

As good as I felt about the decision, the timing was difficult. My mom was still in Denver with my grandpa and was supposed to be heading back to Arizona before driving home for the summer. Thankfully, she was able to get a flight home and my awesome stepdad made the trek from AZ to MN without her. Also crappy timing, my dad and stepmom were leaving town for the basketball tournament we run every year in Denver, so if baby didn't come before 39 weeks, they would be gone for his birth. I was super emotional about my dad being gone but at the end of the day, I had to do what was best for me and Ziggy. Everyone kept telling me to "just take care of that baby" so that is exactly what I did.

That following Tuesday, April 19th {38w3d}, I went back to see my doctor and have my membranes stripped. The hope was that this would get labor started in a more natural way and save me from having to be induced. I went straight from the doctor's office to the gym and took another walk that night {in the rain} desperate to get things moving.

Over the next two days my Braxton Hicks got stronger and a couple even felt like the real deal but were never consistent or "real" enough to track or time. I thought we were for sure in business when I lost my mucus plug in the Holiday gas station bathroom after walking around the lake with my mom and Kenley...but no such luck.

And just like that it was Thursday, April 21st the day before I was to be induced and no real signs of labor were apparent. This is when the doubt and fear set in. Is this what I really wanted? Is this truly what is best for the baby? What if... What if... What if...

I cried and I prayed and I talked to my very patient husband who reminded me of my great conversation with my doctor. He reminded me of all the reasons why we made this choice and reminded me that tomorrow was the day I was finally going to meet my son. I thought about my grandma watching over me and I felt her giving me strength...this was it...our baby was coming TOMORROW one way or another.

As instructed, I called to schedule our induction. I left a message for the nurse and after waiting over an hour for a return phone call I called again....don't make an anxious pregnant woman wait for the phone to ring! That's just cruel. This time she answered, found my paperwork and then informed me that they didn't have any openings for Friday but I could come in on Saturday or Sunday if I'd like. She said it so nonchalantly as if I were scheduling a hair appointment or something. Turns out, my doctor had written down the wrong hospital because I had seen her at a different office than usual on that Tuesday. Thankfully the nurse confirmed the hospital and we caught the mistake but of course, she'd have to check with my hospital and then call me back. It ended up all working out and we were set at the correct hospital for the following morning. I was to call and check in at 6:30am to be sure there was a room available but other than that, we were good to go.

Kenley was at school that morning but after I picked her up and we both napped we spent the rest of the afternoon together, uninterrupted. We made a Play-Doh garden, had a tea party and packed her suitcase. Once Jason was home from work we had a nice family dinner and then took Kenley out for ice cream. Naturally, I was super emotional about my final hours with Kenley as my only. She, on the other hand, was PUMPED!

We brought Kenley to my mom's for a sleepover that night. We had to be at the hospital so early that it was better for all of us to drop her the night before, but spending the night without my sweet daughter was, of course, emotional...are you sensing a theme here?

last photo as a family of 3

The nurse I had talked to suggested I eat a light but protein filled breakfast before heading to the hospital. Knowing myself and knowing I'd be nervous I knew I would not have an appetite, so Jason and I swung by Target to get some protein powder so I could choke down a shake in the morning.

We got home around 8pm and decided to walk the neighborhood in one last ditch effort to get the ball rolling. However, deep down I knew that being induced was how this story was going to play out. Our neighborhood walk lead us to a restaurant near our house where we split an awesomely huge plate of nachos. As nervous as I was, it was so fun having a little date night with my hubby before we had our second baby. It really was a perfect night just the two of us.

Check back tomorrow for the rest of the birth story.