'Twas two years ago...

...that I woke up from a crappy night's sleep with contractions that I was in denial about being actual contractions because at 40 weeks + 6 days I didn't believe the baby would ever come out.

...that I watched Mean Girls, Clueless and Sleepless in Seattle to distract myself from the fact that the contractions were in fact real and were coming faster and stronger all day long.

...that I ate a Spinach Omelet Jalapeno Cheddar Bagel with Bacon, because that's what you eat when you're in labor.

...that contractions actually got to 1 minute long, every 5 minutes for and hour and therefore Jason called the doctor's office and I heard him saying "Whose birthday? My birthday?"....still cracks me up.

...that I put on mascara before leaving for the hospital which is hilarious to me now because every fiber of mascara was cried or sweated off over the course of the following 9 hours.

...that I was on my hands and knees in the back seat of my car while stuck in rush hour traffic on the way to the hospital but still managed to take a selfie {I really did put on mascara, I swear}.

...that Jason and I somehow managed to go in the wrong door and ended up in some back hallway of the hospital that was nowhere near where we needed to be and therefore took like 6 contractions {one of which was in an elevator with a cop} to make it to labor & delivery.

...that I asked the nurse to "check me like a cow" because the thought of being on my back for even two seconds was more than I could bear.

...that I realized and accepted that my plans for a natural childbirth was just more than I could handle and asked pleaded for an epidural.

...that our nurse accidentally, by a combination of words that Jason and I can't for the life of us remember, called our unborn baby a bitch. She was mortified, apologized at least 100 times and we could not stop laughing. 

...that I hung out with my mom and husband in a hospital room watching season 8 of Friends covered in warm blankets until it was time to, ya know, push out a kid. 

...that our nurse said "OK, you're ready to go", we responded with "OK, so like how much longer? An hour?" and she answered with "No. Right now. It's time to have your baby."

and tomorrow morning at 1:07am my Kenley will be two years old. TWO. 

Hold me.