Being pregnant sucks.
OK, let me back up. Being pregnant is an amazing miracle and a total
gift from God. Think back to health class when you learned about conception….if
you don’t remember, look it up or watch this video (http://www.babycenter.com/2_video_10354435.bc)! It is simply mind-blowing that people are able
to reproduce at all. Everything that happens in there to create a baby is truly
miraculous.
With that being said, being pregnant sucks.
There are those people who say, “I loved being pregnant. I had such an
easy pregnancy. I’m going to miss being pregnant.” Bull-honkey! I don’t buy it
for one minute. Sure, there may be aspects of pregnancy that you will miss, and
parts that you loved, and maybe compared to everyone else your pregnancy was
easy…but you cannot tell me that you loved and will miss 100% of the experience.
And here’s why…
*Disclaimer*
If you get weirded out by reading too much personal information, maybe
stop reading this post now. However, if you’ve ever been pregnant—you’ll think
this is funny and if you ever plan on getting pregnant—this is something you
should know beforehand because it’s the crap no one tells you.
Everyone has heard of morning sickness. I, thankfully, did not have to
experience morning sickness. So, there’s really not much I can say on the topic
except that I’ve heard it is awful and that “morning” really has nothing to do
with it because it can hit at any time of day or night and linger for days or weeks or
months at a time. I’m also not going to bore you with food cravings and
aversions because from what I can tell there is absolutely NO rhyme or reason
to what you do or do not want to eat.
The things I do have personal experience with are as follows:
-Sore boobs are a common PMS symptom, one I never really dealt with and
therefore was my first sign of being pregnant. I don’t really know what sore
PMS boobs feel like but I can tell you that sore preggo boobs hurt like the
dickens. They hurt with a bra on, they hurt with a bra off, they hurt if
they’re touched, and they hurt if you look at them. AND, God forbid a gust of
cold air blows through….it feels as if your nipples are being stabbed by
thousands of tiny knives.
-Pregnancy can cause you to be plugged up and not in your nose…if you
know what I mean (although a stuffy nose is another common side effect). At first
this sounds like a lovely break from the bathroom until you get so bloated and
start to hurt. Let me also note that when it is finally time to get unplugged,
it doesn’t matter if you’re at work, at the grocery store or on a walk three
miles from home you’d better drop what you’re doing and find a bathroom FAST because there is no stopping what is
coming! And if you are able to stop it you might miss your chance and not be
able to “start” it again for days.
Hey, I warned you about TMI.
-Fun fact: when you are preggo you produce higher levels of
progesterone which causes your smooth muscle tissue to relax, including your
gastrointestinal tract which slows down digestion (thank you babycenter.com). This
digestion slowing is what causes that fun side effect above but also adds a
splash of gas to the mix.
I have been very lucky and haven’t had any issues in the southern
region but I will admit that I now burp like a frat boy, which is actually
pretty hysterical and awesome because until about a year ago I couldn’t burp at
all (true story). As fun as it is to
belch louder than my husband, these burps sometimes appear unannounced and have
even said “hello” mid-sentence which is a huge inconvenience at work.
-If I had a dollar for every time I’ve said “I am so tired” these past
14 weeks I would be able to buy the new mom-car that I want. We’ve all been
tired before but this is a whole ‘nother level. This isn’t a “I shouldn’t have
stayed up so late playing Draw Something” kind of tired. Oh no. This is a “I
went to bed at 7:30pm, woke up at 8:00am and need to go to my car for a nap
during lunch” kind of tired
-Finally, the hormones….oh the hormones. We all know girls are nuts.
And we all know that once a month girls are even more nuts. But what happens to
your typical nuttiness during pregnancy is no joke. You’ve heard of pregnant
ladies crying non-stop or being huge jerks to their friends, families and, of
course, husbands but until you actually experience it, you really just don’t
know.
As with everything else in pregnancy women all experience different
levels of different side effects and I feel as though I have been pretty good
in terms of hormones (my husband may disagree). BUT, with that being said, I’ve
had my moments. Exhibit A: It was a rare night when I actually had enough
energy to do laundry. I went to get the whites out of the “whites basket” and
found two of my husband’s black socks. I immediately sent him a snotty text
message (homeboy was lucky he wasn’t home this night):
Not knowing the system was a crock of shit because I carefully
explained how I wanted the laundry organized when I bought the
three-compartment hamper. I then threw my phone, screamed that he never listens
to me and then proceeded to cry and complete zero laundry. Thankfully, I was
asleep by the time Jason got home so I saved myself the embarrassment of
getting so worked up over something SO incredibly stupid.
Last week I cried at work because my cottage cheese had expired.
Enough said.
Last week I cried at work because my cottage cheese had expired.
Enough said.
I will happily share my craziness if it helps other preggos
feel a little less crazy.
