Baby Blues

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Today I have one of my dearest blog friends here to share her very personal story with the baby blues. I remember reading this post when she first wrote it and relating to a lot of it and also being so inspired by her honesty and bravery. It's not easy sharing the "negative" parts of motherhood but so many mamas can relate and it's important we stick together and support each other. So, without further adieu, please welcome Kristen.

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Hello everyone! I'm Kristen, from Love, Lipstick, and Pearls. Last May, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl we named Eleanor. Motherhood has been the best journey I have gone on and the love you feel is overwhelming. In those first few weeks, I had some tough times and the baby blues hit me pretty hard. Here is my experience and story in dealing with it. 

Ellie's birth was the best day of my life- the day that all my dreams had come true. I would finally have everything I wanted in life- a wonderful and loving husband, and a family that was my own. The days and weeks after Ellie joined us were wonderful, I felt great, I was recovering from the c-section well, and Ellie was such an easy baby. Don't get me wrong, motherhood was hard, but it wasn't harder than I had expected.

Around week 3 is where it got really tough for me. I got the baby blues. Actually, I had it for a while, but didn't realize it had found me until I was through the storm. I cried a lot. A lot. Often times if Ellie cried, I would cry. If someone made a joke, I cried. I felt alone, even though Matt is so hands on and I had tons of family who came over to help when Matt went back to work. My mother and grandmother would come and clean, cook, and help with Ellie. I would go to my mother in laws home and spend time there, socializing and running errands. But, I worried all the time. Is she sleeping enough? Am I playing and cuddling with her enough? Is she eating enough? Am I producing enough milk? Is she too hot or too cold? If there was something to worry about, I worried about it.

At this point, I had just stopped sleeping upright on our couch (our bed was too hard to get in and out of after the surgery), and Ellie was nursing nearly 24/7 and she wanted to be held all day long. I was tired. I was still sore from the c-section, and I was cranky. We could get her to sleep in her swing a lot, but not every time she was down. There were so many changes and I didn't know if I could keep up emotionally.

I doubted myself and everything I was doing. I felt like I had set this bar so high and had just failed. I loved this beautiful little being with all my heart and did everything I could to keep her happy, nourished, and healthy.  I am responsible for this little girl and I want to give her so much love and parent her in the way that she needs, to bring her up to be loving, thoughtful, generous, responsible, to be herself and so much more.

I poured over Baby Center, What to Expect- any baby website- to gain as much knowledge as I could about how to be the best mother. Hold her this way, burp her that way, buy these toys. Honestly, I just overwhelmed myself without even knowing it. The internet is such a wonderful resource, but man is there so much out there. 

At night I would check myself to see how my thoughts were. I never resented Eleanor and I didn't have dark thoughts about myself. I knew I didn't have postpartum depression, but I wanted to keep myself in check so I could get help for it right away if I felt it got worse or if my feelings of  emotional overload didn't go away. My body had just been through the ringer, my hormones were all across the board, if my feelings kept on or worsened I knew I would need to talk to someone.The feelings I had weren't there all day long, it didn't consume me 24/7, but they were there and came on in huge waves. My feelings included guilt, being judged by everyone, exhaustion, I could cry at the drop of a hat, resentment to others, and insomnia. Then on top of it, I was embarrassed and ashamed I felt this way.

I had two days/nights in a row where I was by myself and Ellie was waking up every.single.hour. She was crying a lot, she cried during nursing, and I was exhausted. My sweet, sweet sister-in-laws came and stayed one night with me each and helped take care of Ellie so I could get a full night's rest. It was the most thoughtful and helpful thing they could have done. I talked to them about my feelings and how I was just beating myself up. They told me how I was doing such a great job, that every mother feels like this, and it's just the baby blues- it will pass. They talked to me about trusting my instincts and to keep doing what I was doing. What I was doing was the right and best thing for Eleanor. After getting more than 2 hours of sleep in a row and talking to someone who knew exactly what I was feeling, I felt like a new woman. I felt like I could conquer the world. I felt like myself again.

The next few days was like a whole new world. Some days were still tough, some days I was still exhausted. Having my family, a supportive husband, and finally realizing that I was making the right choices for Ellie and what I was doing was perfect for our family. It's been so hard for me to write this post and I cried so many times remembering that awful feeling I had. Not wanting to tell anyone or talk about it with my husband because I felt so guilty and ashamed. I wanted to write this post share my story with you that it's OK to have moments like this postpartum and to talk it out with your spouses and other moms without feeling guilty or alone. These feelings are normal and will pass once your body balances out and you get the hang of being a new mom. You, your husband, and your little one are all adjusting and learning together. No one is Super Mom from the get go, you're going to make mistakes, you're going to have long cries in the shower, and it's OK. Cry it out and talk about it, love on your new baby and your husband, and get some sleep. These things can be the life raft you've been waiting for.

If you're going through the baby blues, know that you're doing fine, you're not alone, and you are loved. If I was next to you, I'd give you the big hug you need and the shoulder to cry it out. Please, if you have any questions or want to talk, please feel free to email me at lovelipstickandpearls@ymail.com.

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Baby Talk :: There's an APP for that

We live in a digital age where we have SO much information literally right at our finger tips. Sometimes having all this information can be overwhelming! In fact, I read an interesting article on BabyCenter about the best and worst things about being a mom in our time. Check it out HERE if you're interested. 

While I do think that SO much information and SO many opinions right in front of us all day every day can make things more difficult for us mamas, I do think that there are some definite advantages to having such advanced technology. One BIG advantage in my book is all the apps out there to help make mamas life a little more organized and a little easier. 

I have a whole folder of "baby" related apps that I've used since finding out I was pregnant and today I'm going to share with you my favorites. 

Sprout

I signed up to get the weekly updates from BabyCenter and TheBump, but for me, there was no such thing as too much information. Sprout basically gives you week-by-week updates on your baby's growth and also has a "the doc says" section with information on different things that may be happening to you or the baby. Very similar to the updates from BabyCenter, but again, I couldn't get enough. My favorite thing about the app, however, is the realistic illustrations of the baby. I loved getting a realistic view of what my little nugget looked like swimming around in there. There's a lot of different week-by-week apps out there (and I downloaded a lot of them) but this one is definitely my favorite. 

Checklist for Baby Birth

If you're a type-A planner mama like myself, then you will love this app! I am a checklist fanatic so having a comprehensive checklist on my phone for all the baby stuff we needed to get was GREAT! They have a pre-set list for you but allow you to add additional items or remove the ones from their list that you don't want or need. I got such a sense of accomplishment each time I'd check things off and my "done" percentage would get higher and higher. 

Baby Kicks

A few weeks in to my second trimester, my doctor told me to start keeping track of the baby's movements. She told me to count how many times I would feel the baby move in one hour and to do that once a day...enter the Baby Kicks app! Once or twice a day I would pop open this app and simply give it a tap each time I'd feel Kenley move. Once it got up to 10 the timer would stop and would keep a list of each time I tracked. So simple but so helpful. 

Labor and Contraction Timer

Ahhh, the good old Labor & Contraction Timer. This bad boy was AWESOME. Once I started feeling contractions I used this guy to time them. I'd simply tap "Start" when I'd feel a contraction starting and hit "End" once it was over. Once they started getting more and more painful and closer together I handed my phone off to Jason and he kept track for me. It lists all of your contractions as well so you can see when they're coming every 5 minutes and lasting a minute for an hour....time to call the doctor! 

Baby Care Master

Finally, once Kenley was born I relied BIG TIME on this Baby Care Center app. I don't use it anymore but it was super helpful the first few weeks of Kenley's life. I was able to track when she was eating, how often she was wetting or soiling a diaper, how long she was sleeping AND most key which side she was nursing on. Let me tell you...when you are exhausted and feeding that bambino every couple of hours it is not easy to keep track of which side you nursed on last. I always have my phone with me so while Kenley was eating I would open this app and note which side she was on. It was also super helpful for her doctor's appointments, they always want to know how often the baby is eating and peeing and pooping and sleeping and instead of trying to keep the stats in my mom brain, I relied on this handy little app. 

Do you have any "must use" mama apps that you could recommend?

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Weighing In, part 2

Losing baby weight is weird. In fact, gaining baby weight is weird. It's so crazy to me how different the pregnancy experience is for everyone...I have a friend who gained 10 pounds during her pregnancy and I have a friend who gained 90 pounds (no joke). Some people lose all the baby weight in just weeks and others never really lose it. And despite what you think, gaining less weight during pregnancy doesn't necessarily make it easier to lose. 

There's just too many damn factors! 

I am finding that I fall smack dab in the middle. I gained 34 pounds while growing my KennyCakes which is between the recommended amount (women who are considered "regular" in terms of BMI are recommended to gain between 25-35 pounds), I lost 10 of that within the first week of giving birth...the rest is coming off slowly but somehow surely. 

Word on the street is that if you chose to breastfeed, you will lose the baby weight faster. I don't think I believe this rumor. There's no doubt that breastfeeding burns calories...and a lot of them...but breastfeeding also requires you to eat more calories to keep your milk supply up and make sure your baby is getting the proper nutrition, not to mention you need that energy to function. While breastfeeding, your body will also hold on to some extra fat as a back up, ya know the whole "Starvation Mode" theory, so if that's true, you can't really lose ALL the weight until you're done breastfeeding. Again, I'm sure this is different for everyone. 

Basically, what I'm taking the long way to say is that losing baby weight is hard. There comes a point where you really need to stop stressing about it, except it and realize that your body looks like this because of your baby and for your baby. And unless you hate your baby (and who hates their baby?), you're probably OK with that. 

Sure celebrities are somehow able to look smokin' hot two months after giving birth, but they get paid for it. I guarantee you that if someone offered me half a million dollars, I had a chef, a cleaning lady, a nanny, a personal trainer and all day to do nothing but eat healthy and work out...sure, I could have been down to my pre-baby weight real quick. But it's not realistic and frankly, I don't think it's healthy. 

That's not to say that I'm going to just sit back and let my body be. No, No, No...that sounds like a fast track to mom jeans and moo-moos. I've had to find a way to lose weight that works for me (and my baby). I've also had to accept that unless I want to give up all the foods I really love to eat and workout all the dang time, this is going to take a while. You know what they say, "9 months up and 9 months down."

I don't like to work out. Well, actually I love to work out -- after it's over. It's been over 4 months and I still haven't found a way to incorporate gym time in to my weekly routine. I know I could find the time if I really wanted to...but right now, what I really want is to spend time with my little family and I'm not going to feel bad about that. Plus, once it's nice out, I will be pushing that stroller and be swimming in that pool all-the-time. So, what I'm working hard on now, is my diet. 

I thought about Yeast Free because I've seen it do amazing things for Steph & Kristen, but I know that it wouldn't work for me. YF isn't just a quick fix, it's a lifestyle change and a serious one at that. I know myself and know that I wouldn't and couldn't give up all yeast yielding foods. What I have done, however, is become more aware of foods with yeast and gluten and sugar and I've significantly reduced the amount that I eat. I used to live on carbs and cheese, now I live on protein, fruits and veggies with small amounts of dairy & carbs mixed in. I also gave up sweets for lent, which has been probably the hardest thing I've ever given up but it's really helping to reduce that sweet tooth! More on my healthified diet later! 

After 18 weeks, here's where I stand: 

Total weight gained: 34 pounds

Weight loss goal: 42 pounds

Total weight loss: 25.4 pounds

Pounds to go: 16.6 pounds

Getting there!

See my first Weigh In post HERE.

Weighing In

It's been almost two months since our precious little Nugget was born, 

which also means I am two months into the quest to return to my pre-baby body. 

While I was still pregnant I decided that I wasn't going to think about or worry about losing any weight the first month (yeah right). I wanted to give myself a good 4 weeks to adjust to life as a mama and recover from childbirth. As it turns out, having a baby is a bigger adjustment than I anticipated and while I've obviously thought about losing weight, I haven't been beating myself up about eating a certain way or exercising, but now I'm ready to take this more seriously. 

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 I gained a total of 34 pounds during my pregnancy and was about 8 pounds heavier than I would have liked before getting pregnant. 

SO, as of today I am declaring my total weight loss goal to be 

42 pounds.

After almost two months of my blood & fluid volume getting back to normal, my uterus shrinking, the general benefits of breastfeeding and the almost 7 pound baby that I pushed out, plus the holiday eating marathon, I have lost a total of 17 pounds.

So at the start of my weight loss adventure, here's where I stand: 

Total weight gained: 34 pounds

Weight loss goal: 42 pounds

Total weight loss: 17 pounds

Pounds to go: 25

I found a great article on BabyCenter.com that has some tips and advice for healthy post-baby weight loss. I thought I'd share some of the highlights for all you other mamas and mamas-to-be.

◦ Don't start dieting too soon
Like I had mentioned, you need to give yourself time to recover and adjust. Not to mention you need to make sure you have enough energy to care for your baby and are getting enough calories to breastfeed {if you chose to do-so}.

◦ Be realistic about weight loss
A lot of women are just never the same after giving birth...be realistic about the fact that your body may never be exactly the same again.
{I have a REAL hard time with this one}

◦ Embrace exercise
A healthy diet mixed with exercise is crucial for losing weight--not to mention making sure you're losing fat and not muscle {if there's any muscle left under there}.

◦ Lose weight slowly
Most women need about 1,500-2,200 calories a day to stay healthy and more like 2,000-2,700 for those of us who are nursing! So cut calories without dipping below these minimums...and if you find you're running low on energy, up the calories! Also, losing too much weight too fast can mess with your milk supply!

◦ Eat up - and take your time!
Don't skip meals! You need your energy, so try to eat several small meals a day.

◦ Be choosy about food and drinks
This one's sort of a no-brainer...be smart about the foods you're choosing {again, a hard one for me}...a healthy mix of fruits, veggies, whole grains & protein is best!

I'm hoping that by following the tips in the article, using MyFitnessPal and getting back in to yoga I'll be able to jump start this weight loss journey! 

Wish me luck! 

The First Few Weeks :: Mama Edition

Hi friends.
I want to apologize for being the world's worst blogger these past few weeks. Turns out having a baby eats up way more time than I had ever anticipated, having a baby is also way more difficult than I imagined.

I've got to be honest, these first few weeks have been really hard. Kenley is perfect. She is healthy, happy and a GREAT baby. Taking care of her has been great and I love her with my whole heart, BUT the recovery period and the transition has turned me in to quite the hot mess.

There's this little thing called "The Baby Blues" which is the super cute name someone gave the insane hormonal crash women go through after giving birth. I think a more appropriate name would be "Mama Got Hit By a Train." I know everyone's experience is so different, and I want to truthfully share mine so that you ladies who aren't super moms right out the gate don't beat yourself up like I have been.

Here's the key points...

*A slightly inverted uterus will result in your OB's hands up your hoo-ha for an hour trying to deliver the placenta. And as your epidural wears off...it doesn't feel the best.

*Having an episiotomy and tearing (also known as stitches in three different places) makes using the restroom and sitting really, really not fun. NOTE: Tucks Medicated Pads are THEE best invention since electricity.

*If you are a huge wimp like I am, there is a chance you will pass out on the toilet the first time you have to pee. YUP. Woke up...on the toilet...with a cold washcloth on my head...with the nurse saying "can you hear me?" Straight up blacked out on the John.

*If your baby is part piranha (like mine is) your nipples will crack and bleed causing you to cry every time it's time to feed your baby.

*The cracking and bleeding will then lead to neuritis of the nipples, which essentially means breastfeeding will continue to hurt for weeks or possibly months until it heals itself. Sweet.

*Giving birth makes every muscle in your body sore.

*When your anesthesiologist has to give you three different local anesthetics and TWO (yes two...the first one didn't go in right) epidurals your back will get insanely bruised and feel like you'd been beaten by a baseball bat.

*Hormones make you cry....a lot.

*A not-so-common side effect from childbirth, that I have been so lucky to experience, is Bells Palsy. So, hooray, for the past three weeks I haven't been able to use the right side of my face. Which, to me, has been devastating.

*When you have Bells Palsy, you have to get an MRI with a contrast dye. When you are scared of anything medical...this news is terrifying. This news becomes heartbreaking when you find out you can't breastfeed for 24 hours and have to supplement formula and pump and dump for a full day possibly ruining everything you've worked so hard to accomplish with breastfeeding.

*The post-preggo belly, while much smaller, is very strange. It's a whole different beast than the I-shouldn't-have-eaten-that-entire-pizza belly. No, it's more of a loose, saggy, play-dough belly.

*Lochia, also known as the world's longest period, is a real joy. You start out wearing giant hospital diapers and then graduate to pads which you get to wear for WEEKS...yes, weeks. Not cool.

*Taking a newborn anywhere is the world's biggest production, so it becomes much easier to just NEVER-LEAVE-THE-HOUSE making you feel like a shut-in and go completely stir crazy.


As things gets better all the not-so-fun and disgusting things you go through become more and more funny and less and less devastating. But in all seriousness, I wish women would talk about the post-childbirth experience more. Everyone wants to know about the baby and all new moms want to talk about is their baby, but I think it's important that ladies know how hard it is in the beginning. It's been almost a month since my angel was born and I am JUST NOW starting to feel like myself, granted I had some extra, irregular set backs but it's really hard feeling like an alien in your own body while taking care of this new little alien now living in your house.