I'M PREGNANT!
On Friday March 2nd I was driving home from work so excited for the weekend because I had a special date planned for Jason. I had rented a cabin in Northern Minnesota and booked a wine tasting at the resort. For some strange reason (a reason I now know was God) I felt this sudden urge to take a pregnancy test. I remember thinking to myself “if by some off chance I am pregnant I don’t want to spend the whole weekend drinking.” So I got home around 4:30pm and took a test. I had two leftover from a previous post-honeymoon scare—turns out eating and drinking non-stop for 6 days in a foreign country gives you very similar symptoms to pregnancy.
Anyways, I took the test and immediately saw two pink lines.
I really wish I could remember my exact reaction, but seeing as Bailey was the only one with me and she doesn’t speak I will never truly know how coo-coo the next 60 minutes were.
The first thing I did upon seeing the double line was run downstairs to the computer to google what caused a false positive…turns out, not a lot. But, one culprit was an expired test, which just had to be it. I ran back upstairs, checked the test: Expires May 2013. I then proceed to chug two full glasses of water and take the second test: two pink lines.
This is where I really lost it. I throw Bailey in the car and the two of us run to Walgreens and purchase two more pregnancy tests (two different brands, I might add) and a Vitamin Water. I chug the Vitamin Water on the car ride home and promptly take the next two tests, one of which displayed a plus sign and the other:
One of the few things I do remember about all of this (because I am very confident I blacked out) was standing in the bathroom looking in the mirror and thinking “I’m pregnant.”
Then I got dizzy and had to sit down.
I called Jason who was on his way home from work and as calmly as possible said “when will you be home?” He was stopping at his dad’s to get firewood, so I knew it would be a while.
After about 20 minutes of not being able to stand it any longer I called him again and more frantically asked him when he would be home. He was just minutes away, so I told him to come right inside when he got home (opposed to unloading the firewood—which makes him sound like a lumberjack, but he’s not) to which he responded,
“You’re creepy.”
Finally after what felt like an eternity of sitting in the dark and staring at the wall (no joke, that’s what I did), Jason came home. I met him at the door, grabbed his hand and said,
“I need to show you something.”
After leading him up to the bathroom it didn’t take long for him to see the four positive pregnancy tests lined up on the counter.
Everything from here once again goes dark. I know he didn’t say anything, so I began to yell at him to say something, and then I’m pretty sure I lost it. I cried in his chest saying things similar to…
“I’m not ready.”
“It’s too soon.”
“I’m scared.”
“We just got married.”
I won’t lie, I had a panic attack. But then my darling husband calmed me down (as he always does) simply by saying,
“Toot, this is our chance.”
Since being diagnosed with endometriosis in high school I have had a constant fear of not being able to conceive. Though it was sooner than I had planned and though I may not be entirely ready, God has a plan and He believes that Jason and I are ready for a baby and not only that, I am able to conceive and that by itself is the greatest blessing.
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