Mom Envy

Is this the truth or what?! 

Being a mom is a tough business. Whether you have one kid or five. Whether you work full time or stay at home. Whether you're a single mom or have a huge support system. No matter the situation being a mom is maybe the most gloriously difficult thing in the world. 

I think what really makes motherhood hard is that it's not set in stone. Yes, we all know your baby shouldn't use a knife as a teething toy but for the most part there isn't a right or wrong. There is so much second guessing! This would all be so much easier if it were black and white. Right? Give me a strict set of rules so I don't mess this up. You hear your friend brag about how great their baby sleeps and wonder - what am I doing wrong? Or someone celebrates 12 months of breastfeeding and you're still mourning the fact you only made it 6 months. Maybe you see a 5 month old with four teeth and your 8 month old still has grandpa gums.  And don't even get me started on the moms who are below their pre-pregnancy weight a week after giving birth and are already sipping on a decaf latte while nursing with one arm and pushing a stroller with a two-year-old in it with the other, all while wearing head-to-toe Lululemon, glistening with a perfect tan, in full makeup and with soft romantic curls in her luscious hair. 

As moms I think it's really hard for us to NOT compare ourselves to other moms. Her birth was so much easier than mine. Her baby is so much calmer than mine. Her nursery is cuter. Her maternity clothes are cuter. She only gained 10 pounds. Her husband is so perfect. As more and more of my friends are joining me on this crazy journey called Motherhood the more I find myself second guessing myself. How weird is that? Shouldn't I be surrounded by even more support now that my friends can relate to all the mom-stuff I'm going through? 

But guess what people? I don't care who you are. How skinny you are. How much money you have. How well adjusted your baby is...you've got something. You may not share it. You may put up a front. But there is something. There's no way you can tell me there is a single mom in the world that doesn't have a battle scar of some kind - maybe not a physical scar but an emotional scar. A mental scar. And that's not to say it isn't worth it. It is worth every stretch mark or sleepless night. I have no doubt that most mamas would do it all over again for their little loves. I think it's safe to assume that we all have good days and we all have bad days as a mom. And when you're having a bad day you should be able to talk to your mom friends about it without feeling like a failure or like they are better than you. 

I try really hard to be open and honest both on this blog and when talking to my friends, because what's the point in sugar coating it? It doesn't help me and it doesn't help my friends asking for help or advice. I am more than happy to tell anyone and everyone about the incredible blessing my daughter is. And I love to brag about what a great sleeper she is and how cute she is and how she is without a doubt the smartest 11 month old to ever crawl the planet. BUT, I am also happy to share the struggles. How I have a hard time finding balance. How I had a miserable time the first month. How bells palsy sucks. How mastitis sucks. I could go on and on and on for days. 

I guess the only real point to this super random post is that us moms need to stick together - the good, the bad, the ugly. We've all been there. We all have our moments. Our days. We all have the ups and we all have the downs. So let's be honest with ourselves and each other and ask for help when we need. Vent when we need. And feel OK about bragging every once and a while too {it's the small victories people!}

OK mamas. Have a great day!