Baby Talk :: Embryo Adoption

Happy Tuesday mamas! Thank you all SO much for your sweet words yesterday. Your words of encouragement filled my heart and just further confirm that I made the right choice and am doing the right thing.

Since it's Tuesday, it's time for....

Here's what you do:
1. Write a post about ANYTHING baby {or pregnancy} related.
2. Add my button to your post.
3. Link your post with the link-up tool found at the end of all of my posts.
EASY PEASY! 

Today I have Sara from Making Babies the Bennett Way taking over my blog to share her story with Embryo Adoption. I have to admit, before Sara emailed me, I had no idea this even existed! I'd heard of adoption and sperm donation and surrogates, but never embryo adoption. Needless to say, when I read Sara's story my mouth hit the floor. I have so many friends who have struggled or are currently struggling with infertility so to read this incredible story of all this wonderful couple went through to have their baby girl is really heartwarming and encouraging. I hope you all enjoy it!

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I always knew I wanted to be a mother.  I wanted to experience pregnancy, feel my baby move in my tummy, see my belly grow a little more each week and then after 40 weeks see my beautiful child.  I always wondered what my son or daughter would look like, would have my dark brown eyes and hair, would they have my nose or would they look more like their father, my husband?  I think these are things we all think about and when you’re pregnant you think about them even more.  You hope and pray for a healthy pregnancy without any complications and a healthy baby with ten fingers and ten toes.  I had dreams of being pregnant and couldn’t wait for it to happen!

Little did I know how much my life was going to change, at the young age of 22.  It was the winter of 2002, my mom, sister and I had taken a girls trip to visit family in Florida.  Towards the end of the trip I was having horrible abdominal pain.  I didn’t think too much about it but when it didn’t go away after a few days I started to wonder if I needed to be seen.  It also didn’t help that during a conversation with my cousin she said I should really go in because it could be my appendix and if I didn’t get it checked out it could burst and could cause even more problems.  So I left work and went to the ER.  After sitting in the waiting room for 12 hours, yes 12 hours, I finally saw a doctor who ran a few tests, did a couple scans and then told me I had a large mass on my ovary.  I was told the pain I was experiencing was stemming from the mass twisting and turning and therefore cutting the blood flow to my ovary off.  He wanted to do emergency surgery.  I said no.  I had just sat in an ER waiting room for 12 hours and now you’re telling me I need to have emergency surgery, I don’t think so.  My family and boyfriend didn’t know I was even at the hospital the only person that did was my cousin.  I refused surgery, said I wanted a second opinion and went home. 

The following day I was able to make an appointment with a specialist who agreed that the mass was large but didn’t feel like emergency surgery was necessary.  He was comfortable monitoring it and trying a couple of things to see if we could get the mass to shrink.  After 3 months with no changes we made the decision to have it removed.  My surgery was scheduled for February 10, 2003.  They removed the mass which was the size of a large grapefruit and I had a short stay in the hospital.  One week later at my post-op appointment my mother and I were given the news that the mass they removed was not a simple mass but a tumor and I had ovarian cancer.  We were told I needed to have a second surgery to remove my left ovary and tube because while the tumor was attached to both ovaries the majority of it was on my left ovary.  Therefore, one month later on March 11, 2003 I had my second surgery to remove my left ovary and tube and do an exploratory surgery to make sure the cancer hadn’t spread anywhere else.  Following my second surgery I had doctor appointments every couple months to make sure the cancer didn’t return.  Because we were so aggressive with the surgeries I didn’t have to go through any chemo or radiation treatments.  Every appointment thereafter went great.

At this point my boyfriend, Ryan, and I had only been dating for a few months.  I wasn’t sure what was going to happen to our relationship but I hoped he would stick around and he did.  On April 1, 2004 (yes, April fool’s day) Ryan proposed.  We were married on May 20, 2006.  We always knew we wanted to have kids and we also knew it could be somewhat difficult based on the fact that I only had one ovary.  My doctors had always been very upfront with us about the fact that we could have some issues but nobody could really say what was going to happen.  After we got married I stopped taking my birth control pill.  It wasn’t like we were actively trying to get pregnant but at the same time we weren’t doing anything to stop it from happening.  If it happened, it happened but nothing happened.

In the summer of 2008 my doctor moved to a new clinic which meant I was going to be transferred to a new doctor.  My new doctor reviewed my history, surgical and pathology reports and decided she wanted to start fresh.  She ordered a CT scan, CA125 (blood test) and did an exam.  My CA125 was elevated and there were masses on my right ovary.  My worst fear came true, my cancer had returned.  My doctor recommended I have surgery to remove the masses before we attempted to get pregnant.  This was especially important because we didn’t know how long the masses had been there.  We stressed with her our desire to have children and I asked that she do all she could to save my ovary and tube.  She said her goal was to remove the masses and save my ovary so the decision was made to have laparoscopic surgery.

The masses were removed in June 2008. 

Once I recovered from surgery my oncologist gave us a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE).  Since I had not been on birth control since 2006 she was concerned there might be something else going on therefore she wanted us to meet with the specialist.  We went through a battery of tests and were put on our first fertility medication – clomid.  Clomid was the start of our journey and ultimately our “gateway drug.”  I say “gateway drug” because once you start on this type of journey you seem to advance to other treatments options fairly quickly and since you are so focused on having a baby you will do anything. 

Unfortunately clomid didn’t help us and since my cancer had returned our journey to parenthood was suddenly accelerated.  Instead of trying any other concoction of fertility drugs or other procedures we moved onto in vitro fertilization (IVF).  We went through 2 rounds of IVF, both of which included transferring 1 or 2 embryos 3-5 days after the retrieval and subsequent frozen embryo transfer (FET).  Therefore, we had attempted to become pregnant 3 times with our own embryos.  All of this was done in about 16 month’s time.  It’s safe to say my tummy was beginning to look like a pin cushion from all the injections I had to do during this time.  I had bruises from some of the injections and others caused a small red circle around the injection site and some just itched – all of which is completely normal. 

During the fertility treatments I continued to see my oncologist on a regular basis to keep an eye on my remaining ovary and to make sure the cancer didn’t return again but unfortunately it did.  In November 2009 we were faced with a difficult decision we had two options.  One, we could move forward with another IVF cycle but instead of doing a transfer 3-5 days after the egg retrieval we would freeze everything for future frozen embryos transfer or have yet another surgery.  Since the cancer had returned yet again I had more tumors on my remaining ovary.  The risk in doing another round of IVF was all about the retrieval process.  If the doctors hit or punctured any of the tumors while they were retrieving the eggs the fluid in the tumors would then be in my abdomen which meant the cancer could very quickly and easily spread to other areas.  We made the decision to have another surgery and remove my remaining ovary and tube, meaning I didn’t have any ovaries or tubes left.  All I had was a healthy uterus.  It was a difficult decision but in the end it came down to the fact that yes, I wanted to experience pregnancy but even more than that I wanted to be a mother and be around to watch my child grow up.  When you think of it that way the decision was pretty easy.  I wanted to be a mother and be healthy so on December 22, 2009 I had yet another surgery.

After surgery we decided to take some time off for my body to completely heal.  Heal from surgery, heal from 2 cycles of IVF and four failed pregnancy attempts and reflect on everything we had been through in the last two years.  We still had some frozen embryos left and we knew at some point once I was healed we would do another frozen embryo transfer with our remaining embryos.  My doctor wanted us to wait at least 6 months after surgery but we wanted a little longer because one of my best friends was getting married in England so we thought a little vacation to take a break from all the fertility treatments would be good for both of us. 

Therefore, we did another transfer with our remaining embryos in October of 2010.  Unfortunately it was unsuccessful and to make matters worse we had used all our remaining embryos.  I think this was by far the hardest failed cycle to deal with because it meant I was not going to have a child with my genes.  I couldn’t get any more eggs because I didn’t have ovaries.  I had to come to terms with the fact that my future child was not going to be genetically related to me.  I felt like a failure, my body failed me and at that moment I was trying to deal with the fact that I was never going to be able to experience pregnancy.  I needed time to process everything and figure out how to move forward. 

After our failed cycle we started talking about adoption.  We met with a few different adoption agencies in the Twin Cities but we were not too thrilled with the information we received.  It didn’t feel like it was a good option for us or the right option for us.  Then one Sunday morning while I was on the computer I thought I’d Google “embryo adoption” because I figured hey if you can adopt a child why wouldn’t you be able to adopt embryos.  I wasn’t sure what I was going to get for results but was beyond happy with what appeared.  Embryos adoption was a new option for us and even though in the medical field it was concerned to be a very new option it was an option none the less.  The rest of that Sunday I was glued to the computer.  I was looking at every website, reading anything and everything I could about embryo adoption and my hope for possibly being able to carry a child and experience pregnancy was quickly coming back to me.

Before we moved forward with the process of actually adopting the embryos we brought some information to our fertility specialist to get his take on the process.  We had gotten to know our specialist fairly well because of our story and how much we went through under his care.  We trusted him and we knew he would give us his honest opinion about whether or not this was a good and realistic option for us.  We printed off a few documents from the two companies we were looking at so we could give him everything at our next appointment.  To say we were excited when he thought it was a very realistic option for us would be an understatement, we were overjoyed. 

Shortly thereafter we started the process of adopting embryos through the National Embryo Donation Center (NEDC) in Knoxville, TN.  In addition to starting the process with NEDC we were also put on a waitlist to adopt embryos with a local company, ReproTech, Ltd.  You may be asking why we would start the process with NEDC in Knoxville, TN when we were on a waitlist for embryos in MN.  There’s a perfectly good reason for this.  When we were put on the waitlist at ReproTech we were told we were number 49 on the list and we expect to wait at least 3 years before hearing from them.  We figured if we had a successful pregnancy with embryos adopted from NEDC we could always decline the embryos from ReproTech but at least we would have two options versus one. 

We completed the preliminary application via NEDC’s website and were approved to move forward with submitting our formal application shortly thereafter.  NEDC’s formal application process is very formal.  Not only did we need to meet their minimum criteria, which are:

• Couples must be married for a minimum of 3 years.
• Wife must be 45 years old or younger.
• The combined age of applicant couple must not exceed 100 years.
• The wife must not smoke during the application process, embryo transfer preparation and procedure process, or during pregnancy.
• Preference will be given to couples with no biological children.
• At least one partner of the adopting couple must be a legal citizen of the United States.
• Couples must undergo and pass a home study.

We had to attend virtual “Live Chats” that were all about embryo adoption and the process, have background checks and a home study done among other things.  We had to submit our last 3 years of tax returns so they could determine whether or not we were financially stable.  We also had to have personal references submitted and only one could be a relative.  We had a big decision to make and we didn’t take it lightly.  Once we completed the above mentioned steps and we’re formally accepted by NEDC we moved onto our next set of requirements. 

After we were formally accepted by NEDC we needed Bethany Christian Services to accept our request and application for adoption and a home study.  Once again we had to fill out a bunch of forms and then wait for approval.  The approval process took longer than we anticipated because they requested all of my medical records because of the cancer.  We were also told the initial process took longer because this was when they were really going to be “approving” us.  The second part of the process which involved interviews with a social worker, both jointly and separately, as well as a home visit would be the “easy” part.  Thankfully they were right, after the initial process was done the interviews, questionnaires and home visit all went very fast.

The last thing we had to do before we knew whether or not we were accepted by NEDC was travel to Knoxville, TN for our first consultation.  Our trip was scheduled for mid-July 2011.  During the trip we met with the doctor and staff, toured the facility and I had a physical and a mock transfer.  The consultation went great and we were approved to move forward with picking embryos.  We decided we wanted the adoption to be anonymous and within 48 hours of making this decision we had our embryos.  Now all we had to do was get our meds and make another trip to Knoxville for our first frozen embryo transfer with our adopted embryos.  This took place in September 2011 and words can’t even begin to explain how happy we were when we finally got our first BFP.  For those unfamiliar with infertility acronyms BFP stands for Big Fat Positive meaning I was pregnant. 

September 2011 - Great Smoky Mountains, TN

However, that excitement was shortly lived because during a routine ultrasound in October we found out I had had a miscarriage.  To say we were devastated would be an understatement and to make matters worse we learned this information within days of my 30th birthday.  As I’m sure you can imagine I was in absolutely no mood to celebrate my birthday.  Because to top it off I had to wait a few days between finding out I had miscarried and my D&C.  With each failed cycle I have myself a day or two to get over it but this time it wasn’t that easy, I needed more time. 

We got through the holiday seasons and decided in January 2012 to have another go so to speak.  I was ready to try again and had heard that your chances of getting pregnant after a D&C were higher because your uterus was “cleaned out” and fresh.  So mid-January we once again packed our bags and headed back to Knoxville for another transfer with our adopted embryos.  Unfortunately, this cycle was unsuccessful.  Once again I felt defeated and we thought now would be a good time to take a break.  We had been focused on having a baby for so many years we needed to get back to us. 

However, God seemed to have other plans for us.  Shortly after we found out the transfer was unsuccessful we were contact by ReproTech.  As a reminder, we were put on their waitlist in February 2011 and told we shouldn’t expect to hear from them for about three years.  Now here we were about one year later and we were being contacted by them, it was our turn.  This process moved very quickly because ReproTech didn’t have any requirements, we didn’t have to have a home study done we didn’t need to interview with them.  We were told if we passed up this opportunity we would be put on a second waitlist that included people who had been contacted once before but were not interested in embryos at that time.  We were also told if we were put on this list we shouldn’t expect to hear anything from them for 7 years! 

We quickly said yes we were interested in adopting embryos through them and once again just like that we were moving on.  Within a week or two we received a package that contained 5 packets of information about the embryos available for us to choose from.  However we couldn’t sit back and take our time with this decision because the exact same packet was sent to another couple.  We had 10 days to choose which embryos we wanted and whoever returned the form first got their first choice.  We felt like it was a race against time.  We wanted to make sure we got the embryos we wanted.  We picked our first and second choice within 24 hours of receiving the packet and sent our form back.  Then we waited and we were so happy when we found out we got our first choice! 

Now that we had our embryos selected we needed to take possession of them which meant there were forms to be signed and notarized and we needed to find a new fertility doctor in the Twin Cities.  But that wasn’t going to be as easy as you’d think because not all doctors will perform transfers with adopted embryos.  Thankfully, we did this research when we were first put on their waitlist in 2011 to be sure we wouldn’t have any trouble finding a doctor that would agree to do the transfer.  By March of 2012 we paid the fee and took “possession” of the 5 embryos we adopted.  In April the doctor appointments started up again, as did the shots.  One of which my husband had to administer for me because it went right into my hip.  At one point we had to do this twice a day and let me tell you after a couple days your hips start to feel the shots and it can at times be very uncomfortable. 

At the end of May 2012 the transfer was performed.

We had two embryos transferred and then we began the dreaded TWW (two week wait).  Once our 2 weeks were up I had one blood test that said I was pregnant and a second blood test 48 hours later to confirm I was in fact pregnant and that my HCG level was rising appropriately.  Over the next couple of months my doctors continued to monitor me and adjusted my meds as necessary.  Then towards the end of June we had our confirmation of pregnancy ultrasound.  We were so nervous going into this appointment.  We were trying to stay as positive and optimistic as we could but there were always those thoughts in the back of my mind.  You always hear people say hope for the best but prepare for the worst and that’s exactly what I was doing going into this appointment.  But it didn’t take long for the ultrasound tech and doctor to show us baby Bennett’s heart beat for the first time.  We were elated, we couldn’t believe what we were seeing and we kept starring at the little flickering heart beat on the screen.  Our hearts melted and we were in love.

We told our families on Father’s day and then waited until I was through our first trimester before we shared our exciting news with our extended family and friends.  The pregnancy went very well and I loved every minute of it!  Especially once we announced it to our family and friends all of which who were so unbelievably supportive during our journey.  They were just as excited, if not more, as we were.  They were there to support us from the minute we started to share our struggles, they were with us when I suffered my miscarriage and they celebrated the pregnancy and baby Bennett with us from the moment they learned I was expecting until the moment she made her entrance! 

Madelyn Marie - Day of Transfer & 1 Year Later!

If you or anyone you know is going through fertility treatments and would like to talk to someone who has been through it, my husband and I are more than willing to talk to you.  If you want more information about embryo adoption or donation I’d highly recommend starting with NEDC or ReproTech we had good experience with both.  We’re more than willing to talk about our experience with both companies in further detail too if you’re interested.  And, if you’re still reading this novel of a blog post I’d like to say thank you.  Thank you for taking the time to read my story, I hope you were able to learn a little bit more about infertility and embryo adoption.  Finally, if you’re interested in knowing how baby Bennett, aka Madelyn, is doing hop on over to my blog – www.thebennettway.blogspot.com.

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To submit a guest post, please email me at mamaandmou@gmail.com

Baby Talk :: Past Due

Happy Tuesday mamas....it's time for another edition of BABY TALK!

Here's the rules:
{1} Write a post on ANYTHING baby related...pregnancy, parenting, products, stories, advice, you name it!
{2} Grab this button and put it somewhere, anywhere in your post!

<div class="BUSY-BEE-button" style="width: 250px; margin: 0 auto;"> <a href="http://fawver.blogspot.com"> <img src="http://i1170.photobucket.com/albums/r529/knfawver/baby-talk-button_zps829f6bd6.jpg" alt="BUSY BEE" width="250" height="250" /> </a> </div>

{3} Publish your post on Tuesday!
{4} Come back and enter your post in the super neat link-up tool found at the bottom of every Baby Talk post.
{5} Check back and read the other blogs who have linked up!

Easy as pie!

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When I think back to this time last year I am overcome with emotion. I can't believe that on Friday, my daughter is turning ONE. 

Pregnancy flies by in the blink of an eye {even though it doesn't always feel like it in the moment} and the events and days and hours leading up to the birth of your first baby {and I imagine your second, and third...} are an even bigger blur. 

I've been taking quite the walk down memory lane lately and thinking back to one year ago and it's times like these I am so thankful for this blog and so thankful that I took the time to write down what was happening and how I was feeling. 

I came across this post written exactly one year ago on November 12, 2012 and wanted to share it with you guys once again. When I wrote this post I was 4 days past my due date. I was tired. I was sore. I was SO SO SO emotional and SO SO SO over being pregnant. I was anxious and scared and more than anything ready to meet my baby. I wanted to re-post this because I think a lot of women probably feel this way at some time or another during pregnancy but are scared to admit it for fear they'll be judged for complaining, or not being excited. There are so many emotions {thank you hormones} that come along with being pregnant and like it or not they're not all elation and happiness and excitement.

Anyways, instead of rambling on...here's how I was feeling this time last year. 

Past Due. Update. 

written Tuesday, November 12, 2012. 

Wow. 

What an emotional roller coaster the past few days have been. As you all know my due date was last Thursday, November 8th. While I've obviously known this entire time that the due date was just a guess, it's still that ONE day you have in your mind for the entire 9 months. And when you watch it come and go...it's hard. 

I really think doctors should give women a due time period with like a two week window, because the one date flashing in your mind constantly can really drive a person mad. And it has definitely driven me mad. 

Thursday and Friday were really, really hard days for me. I hadn't slept at all because I was so anxious, add the crazy hormones to the exhaustion, sprinkle on some serious discomfort and you've got yourself one hot mess of a person. ME. 

I cried on and off for all of Thursday and all of Friday. I didn’t go into work on Friday because I couldn’t keep myself together long enough to be professional. Not because I was sad the baby hadn't come but because I felt like a failure. I felt like I should be so happy and excited to meet my little girl, but I wasn't. I was anxious, the anticipation was killing me. Sitting and waiting for the worst pain of your life to start is a very strange thing. 

Then came all of the text messages. It was so incredibly heartwarming to get SO many messages from friends and family checking on me and the baby and wishing me a happy due date but it actually made everything worse. I started to feel like a watched pot. There are so many people so excited to meet this little girl and I began to feel like it was my fault that they hadn't. Not to mention I'm pretty amped about meeting her myself. 

Then there’s all the suggestions…Go for a walk. Bounce on a ball. Have sex. Eat spicy food. Eat pineapple. Drink special tea. Like it's just that easy.

I tried it all people…none of it works. 

On top of that, my sister-in-law, Nicole (Jason’s sister) flew in from Florida. She knew when she booked the ticket that there was a chance the baby could come late, but we all figured she wouldn’t be this late (Nicole left today). I started putting all this pressure on myself to get her here while Nicole was in town - like I had any control. I felt AWFUL that Nicole took time off of work and spent money on a plane ticket and may not be here to meet her Goddaughter. 

I was trying so hard to fix my mood, to be happy and excited, to not worry, to be thankful that I had a healthy full term baby growing inside of me. But for whatever reason, I just needed to be scared, sad and cry. And let me tell all you girls out there...that's OK. 

I spent an entire day alone (well, of course the puggle was there), in my bed sleeping and crying. I got it all out of my system and then stopped beating myself up. It was exactly what I needed and I found a new attitude. I woke up on Saturday feeling great. Jason and I had a wonderful weekend and while I was still impatient and still feeling anxious, I was able to go more than 10 minutes without crying.

I had a doctor’s appointment scheduled for this coming Wednesday, but after the weekend I knew I couldn’t wait that long to go in. Luckily, my doctor was able to get me in this morning…and here is where we stand:

I am currently 3 centimeters dilated and 75% effaced!

Major excitement after being just 1 cm and 60% for the past three weeks.

My doctor doesn’t let patients go past 41 weeks because of the possible health risks to mom and baby. Because I am just days away from being 41 weeks, she wanted me to get a biophysical ultrasound to check the status of the baby. Basically they check a bunch of different things (heart rate, breathing, movement, amniotic fluid, placenta, etc), there is an 8 point scale and the baby has 30 minutes to complete all the things they’re checking for. If there are any concerns or the baby is in distress, induction or C-section happens right away.

Thankfully my little Nugget scored a perfect 8/8. She is doing great in there, which is probably why she hasn’t wanted to come out. So there are no concerns in terms of her staying put for a few more days. BUT because I am 41 weeks on Thursday I had to schedule an induction…something I’ve desperately wanted to avoid.

I decided to let my doctor strip my membranes to try and get labor going more naturally. If that doesn’t work I will go in sometime on Thursday to be induced. The one great thing about having to be induced is that my doctor is the doctor on staff at the hospital on Thursday. SO, at least I would have her there with me.

Giving birth naturally is really important to me and while there is nothing natural about Pitocin, I have to trust my doctor and do everything I can to get through a Pitocin-induced birth without pain medication. That is, if she doesn’t come on her own in the next two days….which PLEASE pray that she does!

Overall, I feel relieved. So very relieved. Being induced is not ideal but there is an end in sight. No matter what, my baby will be here by the end of the week.

Thank you all so much for checking in on me and for all your sweet words.

I’m sorry if I was crabby with any of you last week. J

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I can't read this post without crying because the very next day - labor started! And that Thursday, instead of being induced, my Kenley was born. 

Baby Talk :: Marriage After Baby {+ 2 Years!}

MAMAS! Make sure to link up with me every Tuesday to talk about all things BABY! 

It's pretty easy, here's the rules: 

{1} Write a post on ANYTHING baby related...pregnancy, parenting, products, stories, advice, you name it!

{2} Grab this button and put it somewhere, anywhere in your post!

<div class="BUSY-BEE-button" style="width: 250px; margin: 0 auto;"> <a href="http://fawver.blogspot.com"> <img src="http://i1170.photobucket.com/albums/r529/knfawver/baby-talk-button_zps829f6bd6.jpg" alt="BUSY BEE" width="250" height="250" /> </a> </div>

{3} Publish your post on Tuesday!
{4} Come back and enter your post in the super neat link-up tool found at the bottom of every Baby Talk post.
{5} Check back and read the other blogs who have linked up!

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Today marks TWO YEARS since the day I married the love of my life.

Part of me feels like we have been married forever and the other part feels like our wedding was just yesterday - I know that really doesn't make any sense, but it's how I feel.

I thought since today is our anniversary it made sense to share what our marriage has been like since having our baby almost a year ago.

My greatest fear when I was pregnant was what would happen to me and Jason after the baby was born {that along with all the other irrational fears you have when you're with child}. Having a baby is a MAJOR life change and I knew it was inevitable that both me and Jason would change, our relationship would change, our priorities would change and pretty much our whole world would change. 

Fast forward to the first few weeks of Kenley's life and I was thinking that I was crazy for ever thinking this would be hard, of course having a brand new baby came with it's challenges, but our relationship was better than ever. Jason was incredible. As you all know, I had a bit of a rough recovery and Jason totally picked up the slack. He took such good care of me and such good care of the house so I could spend 100% of the little energy that I had on taking care of our new roommate. 

Fast forward a few more months and I was back to normal {read: I could sit without a doughnut and both sides of my face were fully functioning}, I was back at work and our daily routine was in full swing. This was how our life was going to be for the foreseeable future and I felt completely disconnected from my husband. Between working full-time, taking care of the baby, trying to keep the house clean and having a little bit of fun once and a while there was NO Kristin & Jason time. Sure, we'd be home together and maybe watch TV together. But more often than not, I was watching a show and Jason was on the computer. We were in the same room, exchanging small talk but not really connecting.  Most nights I would go to bed before Jason because I had to be up early to get myself and the baby ready for our days. To top it off I was so irritable  Everything Jason was doing was driving me crazy. Just little dumb things like mixing his Chipotle for what seemed like 10 minutes before taking a bite. I tried SO hard not to nit-pick or nag but sometimes I just couldn't hold it in. I was so irritated most of the time that I didn't even want to be around him and I'm sure Jason was less than thrilled to hang out with me when he couldn't do anything right in my eyes.

Since those earlier days, we've found our rhythm. I think we make a fantastic team. We both have our responsibilities we take care of and the rest we split up. Our day-to-day life is wonderful and thanks to our incredible parents we are able to spend time away from the baby and have some grown up fun. With so many fun plans we have found a lot of our baby-free time is spent with friends, which is wonderful, but it means we have to work that much harder to spend time just the two of us. And in truth, we definitely don't spend enough time with only each other.

We have made some changes, however, to try and maximize our Kristin & Jason time. For example, we try really hard to eat dinner at the table so we can spend that quality time as a family. For the most part, we go to bed at the same time so we can spend some pre-slumber snuggle minutes together. We've also made an effort to spend quality time together after Kenley goes to bed - that usually means snuggling up on the couch and watching a show or a movie but it's a major improvement from being in the same room but not together.

It's not, however, always easy. A marriage takes work and a marriage with a baby takes extra work. Jason and I both have to put in effort to make sure the other is taken care of and feels loved. With so much of our love and attention going towards Kenley it's easy to sort of forget to give each other "hello" kisses or compliment one another or thank each other for the great job we're doing. It's so easy to fall in to your routine and let days or weeks or months go by and not even realize you haven't spent quality time together.

When it's all said and done, the key is effort.

We aren't perfect by any means, not even close. We have our good days and our bad days. But like I said, we're a team. We're both committed to our relationship and hold it as a top priority with our daughter and I think as long as that doesn't change, we'll be good.


and before I go....


To my husband,

Thank you for two amazing years. Thank you for all of the laughs, the support, the inside jokes and fun memories. Thank you for Kenley. Thank you for being the rock of our family and for taking such good care of your girls.

Our wedding day was the best day of my life and I can't imagine another day will ever compare. Not only was it the most fun I've ever had but I got to leave the party with you by my side FOREVER. 

Dan Schulze Films on Vimeo.

I love you the most the most the most and can't wait to see what the next 80 million years bring to our lives. 

Love, 

Your Toot

Baby Talk :: Flying with a Kiddo

Happy Tuesday mamas....it's time for another edition of BABY TALK!

Here's the rules:
{1} Write a post on ANYTHING baby related...pregnancy, parenting, products, stories, advice, you name it!
{2} Grab this button and put it somewhere, anywhere in your post!

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{3} Publish your post on Tuesday!
{4} Come back and enter your post in the super neat link-up tool found at the bottom of every Baby Talk post.
{5} Check back and read the other blogs who have linked up!

Easy as pie!

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Two weeks ago I took Kenley to Colorado for my grandma's 80th birthday. This trip marked Kenley's first time on an airplane and marked my frist time flying with a baby. You should know that I am a very nervous flyer. I haven't always been, in fact up until a couple of years ago I absolutely loved to fly and would actually laugh during turbulence. Now when I feel a bump I am certain I will be crashing to my death. Irrational and ridiculous? YES.

To say that I was nervous and stressed out about this flight would be a HUGE understatement! Before leaving for this trip I had a million questions running through my head in regards to surviving the flight and making traveling with a baby as easy as humanly possible.

How much earlier than usual do you recommend getting to the airport?
What should I carry on?
What baby gear do I need to bring?
How do we make sure Kenley's not "that baby"? 

After surviving two flights with a 10-month-old (who was an absolute perfect angel on both flights BTW), I have some tips and tricks that worked for us. 

1. Research the airline's baby / small child policies ahead of time. Each airlines does it a little different so be sure to double check what the rules & regulations are. We flew Southwest and they were INCREDIBLE. They allow you to check a car seat & stroller FOR FREE along with TWO bags. So I was able to bring our suitcase, pack n play, car seat and stroller for $0.00! I was required to bring a copy of Kenley's birth certificate to prove she was under 2 years old, but that was it.  
2. If you can afford it, get your baby their own seat! Unfortunately this was not in our budget, BUT we were lucky enough to have a spare seat next to us on the way there and it was amazing! Kenley was able to have her own space to move around and play and it made the flight so much easier. 
3. Bring snacks, lots and lots of snacks. I don't know if this is true for every kid but NOTHING keeps Kenley's attention longer than food. I brought two bottles (one for take off and one for landing) along with a bunch of little finger snacks and a squeezie bag of apple sauce. 
4. Pack only what you need for the flight. I brought a couple of diapers and food in our carry on for the flight and bought everything else once we landed. It was so much easier than trying to squeeze a ton of baby stuff into our suitcase. 
5. Bring a new toy. I grabbed a couple of new toys before the trip and didn't let Kenley see them until we got on the plane. I don't know about your kid, but mine is entertained significantly more by something she's never seen. 
6. When in doubt, turn to Mickey Mouse. Kenley is OBSESSED with Mickey Mouse, like screeches with glee when she sees him obsessed, so I made sure to have a bunch of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse shows downloaded to the iPad along with some new Mickey books for us to read.
7. Try and be calm. This one was FOR SURE the hardest for me. But as with anything else, if you're calm your baby is calm. Kids cry. Kids throw fits. A plane is no exception. No one wants to be the lady with the screaming kid, but you can't help it. Just do what you can and try not to worry about everyone else.  

Do those of you who have flown with your babies have anything to add? 

Baby Talk :: Family Friendly Food.

Happy Tuesday mamas....it's time for another edition of BABY TALK!

Here's the rules:
{1} Write a post on ANYTHING baby related...pregnancy, parenting, products, stories, advice, you name it!
{2} Grab this button and put it somewhere, anywhere in your post!

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{3} Publish your post on Tuesday!
{4} Come back and enter your post in the super neat link-up tool found at the bottom of every Baby Talk post.
{5} Check back and read the other blogs who have linked up!

Easy as pie!

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Today I am once again linking up with Julie + friends for their Kid Test, Mom Approved link up party. 

I've talked A LOT about feeding Kenley, but what's one more post? Right? 

In case you missed the previous posts, you can get caught up here: 

Breastfeeding

The End of Breastfeeding
Starting Solids

What to Feed My Baby, When?

DIY Baby Food

Since I've already kind of covered the bases, I thought today I'd share a typical meal plan for Kenley now that she is 9, almost 10 months old. 

Kenley is still drinking 5 formula bottles / day - which in just over two months we get to be done with! WAHOO! I am so ready to be done with formula and introduce cow's milk. Other than that Kenley is all about solids. She has been introduced to pretty much all of the foods she is allowed to have {no cows milk, no eggs and very little sugar - which is my request}.

So here's what a day in the life of Kenley looks like. 

6:30-7:00am - 5oz bottle when she wakes up. 

9:00am - Yogurt for Breakfast. Her favorites are YoBaby & Gerber. 

9:30am - 5oz bottle before morning nap. 

12:00pm - Lunch which usually consists of oatmeal cereal, cottage cheese & some sort of fruit mix - either one of my purees or an applesauce-to-go squeeze. She'll usually have a bottle around this time as well.

2:00ish - Snack time! Kenley is obsessed with the little Yogurt Melts but also loves veggie puffs, lil crunchies and wagon wheels.

3:00pm - 5oz bottle before afternoon nap

6:00pm - Dinner! Dinner time is so much easier now as Kenley will usually just have a teeny portion of whatever Jason and I are having. For example, last night she had a turkey meatball (cut up of course), some whole grain brown rice and broccoli. If Jason and I are eating something I don't K is ready for I will usually give her a homemade veggie puree, some black beans and some rice cereal or some avocado. I think black beans and avocados are her favorite food right now, which makes her Mexican-loving-mama extremely happy.

7:30-8:00pm - BEDTIME! After her bath and before she goes to bed Kenley has one more 5oz bottle. 

I couldn't be more proud of the good eater that Kenley has become! Not only does the kid eat A LOT but she really loves everything she tries. For now I'm keeping her away from sugary foods and juice because she has her whole life to enjoy sugar. For now I want her to continue to love healthy fruits and veggies! 

So there you have it! I'd love to hear what you other mamas are doing for baby food & schedules. I'm always curious to hear what works well for other families and get new ideas!

And before I go, I want to wish my dear friend Carolyn a HAPPY DUE DATE!

Let's get that little Beebo out of there! 

Baby Talk :: The Style File

Does anyone else feel like they need a few more days off to recover from the long weekend? I sure do! Lucky for me the one thing that is sure to put me in a good mood is looking at and shopping for baby clothes! 

Today is not only my weekly Baby Talk link up {mamas and mamas-to-be join me every Tuesday!} but I am also joining one of my favorite mom bloggers, Julie, and her mom blogger friends for their Kid Tested, Mom Approved Link Up Party! 

Today's topic of interest is BABY CLOTHES! 

I don't know why people go so bananas over baby clothes but I am definitely guilty as charged. Dressing Kenley is so fun and I've loved giving her her own little style over the past 9 months. 

Now that it's officially fall and Kenley seems to grow every day, we need to update her wardrobe with some warmer fall and winter clothes. My absolute favorite baby store is Baby Gap and today you get to feast your eyes on some of my fall favorites for Kenley. 

Kenley's Fall Fashion by knfawver on Polyvore

Gap Boo Graphic Fleece Dress - heather grey

gap.com

Gap Cashmere Hoodie Sweater - Gray

gap.com

Gap Picot Trim Printed Bodysuit - icy pink

gap.com

Gap Knit Waist Jeggings Dark Wash - dark wash

gap.com

Gap Organic Velour Footed Pants - oxide grey

gap.com

Gap Five Pocket Knit Pants - phosphorus

gap.com

Gap Corduroy Knit Waist Jeggings - dull rose

gap.com

Gap Keyhole Bodysuit - ivory frost

gap.com

Gap Ruffle Tights - ivory frost

gap.com

Converse Chuck Taylor Low Top Sneaker (Baby, Walker & Toddler) Pink 4...

nordstrom.com

Ugg® Australia Infant Girls' Cassie Leopard Bootie - Baby, Walker

bloomingdales.com

Gap Leopard Print Loafers - leopard print

gap.com

Quilted jacket

gap.com

Dot bow dress

gap.com

Scalloped flats

gap.com

Make sure to link up every Tuesday and talk about anything and everything BABY! 

Here's the rules:
{1} Write a post on ANYTHING baby related...pregnancy, parenting, products, stories, advice, you name it!
{2} Grab this button and put it somewhere, anywhere in your post!

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{3} Publish your post on Tuesday!
{4} Come back and enter your post in the super neat link-up tool found at the bottom of every Baby Talk post.
{5} Check back and read the other blogs who have linked up!

Easy as pie!

Baby Talk :: Flu Shot

Happy Tuesday mamas....it's time for another edition of BABY TALK!

Here's the rules:
{1} Write a post on ANYTHING baby related...pregnancy, parenting, products, stories, advice, you name it!
{2} Grab this button and put it somewhere, anywhere in your post!

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{3} Publish your post on Tuesday!
{4} Come back and enter your post in the super neat link-up tool found at the bottom of every Baby Talk post.
{5} Check back and read the other blogs who have linked up!

Easy as pie!

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With summer quickly coming to an end, the fall and winter months are upon us, which also means it's almost Flu Season. At Kenley's 9 month appointment our pediatrician suggested that Kenley come in in early October for the first of two flu vaccine shots. Jason and I talked it over and we're both on the fence. I don't want to be naive and end up with a severely sick child but I also don't love the idea of pumping my baby up with something she doesn't really need. I really love our doctor and trust her but I also know that in her profession she is pro-medication, which I don't always agree with. 

So I'm turning to other mamas, I need your opinions...

Did you/Do you get your baby/kid the flu shot?

Here's what is currently running through my head in regards to the shot:

PROS

• Really the only real pro I see is that Kenley may not get the flu - which is obviously a BIG pro. Our pediatrician said that some of the sickest babies she's ever seen have been from the flu. Obviously, I don't want that for Kenley. 
• The doctor also said if Kenley didn't get the shot she would recommend asking everyone who cares for her to get the shot. Since Kenley has an entourage of caregivers I couldn't possibly ask each and every one of them to get the vaccine, especially when I don't plan on getting it myself.

CONS

• In general, medicine makes me nervous. I feel that it's unnatural and can potentially cause more harm than good. I try to only take Advil & allergy medicine when it's absolutely necessary and other than that I really prefer not to take anything. 
• I've never had a flu shot and neither has Jason. 
• My mom got a flu shot once when I was in high school and I've never seen her so sick.
• Kenley doesn't go to a traditional daycare - she spends her days with our parents so although she is exposed to a variety of people she isn't around a bunch of kids. 
• Getting a flu shot does not guarantee that Kenley will not get the flu, the flu shot is designed to combat three strains of the flu so if she gets a different strain - she'll still be sick.

QUESTIONS

• Does the flu shot prevent the immune system from learning to fight off other illnesses on it's own? I want Kenley's little body to learn to fight for itself, and I'm curious if the vaccine helps or hurts this. 
• What are the side effects of the shot? Our doctor mentioned a possible fever but I've also heard of sore and painful injection sites as well as actual flu-like symptoms. 

I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts, opinions and experiences. I really don't think there's a right or a wrong, I just want to make an educated decision and do what is best {in my mind} for my baby girl. 

THANKS LOVES! 

Baby Talk :: My View on Baby Safety

Happy Tuesday mamas....it's time for another edition of BABY TALK!

Here's the rules:
{1} Write a post on ANYTHING baby related...pregnancy, parenting, products, stories, advice, you name it!
{2} Grab this button and put it somewhere, anywhere in your post!

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{3} Publish your post on Tuesday!
{4} Come back and enter your post in the super neat link-up tool found at the bottom of every Baby Talk post.
{5} Check back and read the other blogs who have linked up!

Easy as pie!

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There's a million and one products and tools out there to keep your baby safe. And while I'm sure they are wonderful and helpful, we don't use hardly any of them. 

Before you go getting your feathers all ruffled and calling child services on me...let me explain. 

I think the key to keeping your child safe is parenting. 

For example, I don't feel the need for a safety gate because Kenley would never be out of my sight long enough to make it to the stairs. If I were doing something where I couldn't keep my eye on her she would either be in her crib, pack n play, bouncer or I would shut doors to keep her contained in the room with me. We also don't have a baby monitor, we are able to hear Kenely when she cries and when she cries we check on her - I don't need to watch her on a screen or track her movement to see if she's OK. 

Again, don't freak out, I'm not saying you're a bad parent or you don't pay attention to your kid if you use safety gates or monitors or any safety gadget for that matter, they are wonderful inventions and I'm sure they are very helpful - I'm just saying Jason and I personally don't feel the need for them in our home and there is no device that can replace keeping an eye on your baby. 

The thing that kills me is that some bone head parents makes a dumb mistake and ruin it for the rest of us. Take the Bumbo for example. 

Literally the week after my baby shower where I was gifted the Bumbo seat by my friend Kristen, it was recalled. When I went to see what the recall was to see if I should be returning the seat I was actually amused to see that they had added a strap to the interior of the seat because babies had fallen off of counter-tops. OF COURSE, I was not amused that babies had fallen and been seriously injured but amused that Bumbo had to recall their product because people don't have common sense enough to watch their kid when they are sitting on a counter-top. Explain to me how this is Bumbo's fault? Needless to say I did not return my Bumbo or get the strap, I simply make sure that my baby is not left alone in the seat anywhere that could cause her harm.

Then of course, after Kenley was born and was actually using the seat I would get comments from people who would see photos of her in it telling me "Did you know those were recalled?" or "Be careful, the Bumbo was recalled" And I actually took offense to this. I know they were trying to be helpful but I was offended that people thought that I wouldn't be up to date on the equipment we were using OR that I would be lumped in to the category of the bonehead parents that don't pay attention to their kids and rely on a product to keep their baby safe. 

Of course it's inevitable that accidents will happen. Kenley has bumped her head plenty of times, but all kids are going to get a scratch or bruise every now and then no matter how closely you watch them or how many gadgets you have to keep them safe.

Think of when our parents were kids - or even when we were kids! Half of these products didn't exist. When I was a baby EVERYONE had bumpers {which are a big no-no now} and my dad didn't even ride in a car seat - heck they didn't even have seat belts!

Obviously we've come a long way and thank heavens we have car seats and seat belts now, but I do think there is a level of overreaction in society as well as a lack of responsibility on parents to actually parent. 

When I actually thought about it I realized that Jason and I use TWO safety products. 

1. Our car seat! 

A car seat is definitely a safety product that cannot be ignored.

and

2. Outlet covers. 

The day Kenley figured out how to crawl she literally went straight for the outlet and stuck her teeny tiny little finger right in the socket. 

Aside from that, we really haven't had to use anything else. This is not to say we won't need some cabinet locks or things like that in the future. But I will say I don't ever want to spend money on a product that simply replaces me watching my baby. I brought her in to this world and it's my responsibility to keep her safe - if I can't handle that, it's probably time for you to call child services.